Earlier this month, we reported that a man was arrested for defecating on a checkout scanner. Now we have this guy—who was arrested for allegedly placing his junk on a checkout scanner. June has been a bad month for grocery scanners! Not only do they do a thankless job, it seems they also have to endure these types of horrors.
According to The Smoking Gun, Christian Fisher, 31, strolled into a grocery store in Seattle and perched his penis on a self-checkout terminal scanner. He then called over a female employee for some “help,” and apparently, her shocked face when she saw his privates made Fisher laugh out loud. At this time, a male security guard walked over to see what was up and saw that Fisher’s penis was “resting on top of the scanner.” WTF! These poor employees!
Fisher then quickly packed up his goods and hightailed it out of there before authorities could arrive. Now, here is the perp derp moment—he returned to the scene of the crime a few hours later. Yup. After a brief fight with the security guard, Fisher once again fled the store, but thankfully, this time, the police caught up to him about a block away.
Wait, it does not end here.
After Fisher was told that he was being arrested for indecent exposure, Fisher reportedly yelled, “I didn’t whip my cock out!”
There ya have it…