Grand Theft Manhood

No Thieves sign
Would you call what he’s carrying a sack?
What is going on in China these days? First, there was the man who brought his index fingers to a gunfight. Then, there were the eighteen Chinese police who spent an hour rescuing a sex doll. And now, we have the story of Fei Lin, who woke in the middle of the night to find his penis being stolen.

According to the Austrian Times (and yes, it’s a little odd that our stories out of China come from India and Austria, but their world press corps are clearly . . . er . . . on the ball), Fei Lin said the attackers had snuck in while he was sleeping.

“They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off. I was so shocked I didn’t feel a thing—then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone.”

Police and emergency workers could not find the missing appendage. They believe the assault to have been revenge for the alleged affairs Fei Lin was rumored to have had with local women.

Image via Sarah C Murray

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