Holiday Celebrations: What Not To Do In England’s Parks

O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
It’s that time of year when kids are out of school and people are walking in the park of an afternoon, skipping rope and generally enjoying themselves. However, it has come to our attention that several things are not permitted in England’s Royal parks “unless the Secretary of State’s written permission has first been obtained.” For example, you may not:

  • interfere with any plant or fungus;
  • go on any flower bed or shrubbery, or on any area of a Park access to which is prohibited by a notice exhibited by order of the Secretary of State;
  • use or operate a metal or mineral detector or any device for locating objects below ground level;
  • attach any article to, climb or interfere with any tree, railing, fence, statue, seat, building or structure;
  • play or cause to be played a musical instrument

Now, the full list of some thirty prohibitions is available for your perusal, but the ones we find most intriguing are “interfering with a fungus” or “causing a musical instrument to be played.” Just makes us want to climb a statue, eat a mushroom, and force someone to play a flute while using a metal detector in the shrubbery.

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