<i>Paw and Order</i>: New Excerpt Paw and Order: New Excerpt Diane Kelly Megan and Brigit are back and sniffing for clues! <i>Meet Your Baker</i>: New Excerpt Meet Your Baker: New Excerpt Ellie Alexander To bake, or not to bake, that is the question... Now Win <i>This</i>!: Yule Be Sorry Sweepstakes Now Win This!: Yule Be Sorry Sweepstakes Crime HQ All I want for Christmas is you (to die)! <i>A Nip of Murder</i>: New Excerpt A Nip of Murder: New Excerpt Carol Miller A robbery gone wrong leaves Daisy scrambling.
From The Blog
December 26, 2014
A Night on the Town: Book Clubbing
Crime HQ
December 25, 2014
Joy Through the Underworld and Peace on Earth!
Crime HQ
December 24, 2014
Matthew McConaughey: Called to The Stand
Crime HQ
December 23, 2014
Have You Ever Been Blocked: Black Mirror's: "White Christmas"
Crime HQ
December 22, 2014
Van Gogh's Suicide? Forensics Expert Favors Murder
Crime HQ
Dec 27 2014 12:00pm

Another Kind of Thrilla in Manila: Wonder Women (1973)

This post can be seen as the third in a trilogy of appreciations I’ve written of B-movies that involve packs of women employing bizarre, world-beating (they hope) masterplans. First there was Invasion of the Bee Girls, about some ladies who lure men into sexual encounters then turn into buzzing creatures during the act and leave the fellas dead. Then I covered The Female Bunch, the story of some pissed-off babes who are fed up with the male population and construct a female-run ranch commune that doubles as a drug-smuggling headquarters. And now I’m here to discuss the 1973 grindhouse cult romp Wonder Women, in which, again, some ladies set up a self-contained world wherein they carry out odd operations.

The plot of Wonder Women is loopy, as is true of many exploitation films from this era. But, here, I’ll have a go at summarizing its storyline: 14 prized athletes from around the world suddenly disappear, over a short span of time. The general assumption is that they were kidnapped, but nobody comes forward to claim the adductions or demand ransom. Hmm. It turns out the guys have been put into comatose states and shipped to an island retreat in the Philippines, this center run by a Dr. Tsu: a disgraced lady physician turned mad scientist (“100 years ahead of her time”), played by exotic beauty Nancy Kwan. What Tsu’s up to at her freaky complex is – with the help of a bevy of go-go boots-wearing, machine gun-toting honeys – managing an organ transplant clinic. She takes vital parts out of one captive’s body and puts them in somebody else’s. Sometimes she executes these operations just as experimental play, to see what will happen if you, say, swap brains between two people. But mostly she’s after money. She lures in rich clients who will pay to trade vital parts with more fit persons; thus, the need for super-bodied athletes. So, for instance, there’s one wealthy old geezer who’s going to pay Tsu mad bucks to have his brain inserted into the body of a jai alai player Tsu and her girls have captured.

[What could go wrong?]

Dec 26 2014 1:00pm

Paw and Order: New Excerpt

Diane Kelly

Paw and Order by Diane Kelly is the second book in the Paw Enforcement series about police officer Megan Luz and her four-legged partner Brigit (available December 30, 2014).

Police officer Megan Luz and her loyal K-9 partner Brigit are back on the beat—and under the gun—when the local rodeo show goes to the dogs…


After capturing the notorious Fort Worth “Tunabomber,” Megan and Brigit are practically celebrities. Which is why the police chief lassoed them into doing rodeo duty —mostly as a public relations stunt for the department. Megan’s not a fan of calf roping, bull riding, or goat milking contests. But when a  thief appears to be working the circuit, her trusty K-9 partner starts sniffing for clues…


The culprit is “Robin Hood,” a young Texas golddigger who steals from the rich to give to the poor—namely, herself. With Brigit hot on the trail, Megan has to juggle her on-again off-again reputation in the FWPD with her on-again off-again relationship with sexy bomb-squader Seth Rutledge. This time, Megan is determined to rope in her suspect and her man…before chaos, and/or her trusted furry partner, is unleashed.

Chapter One

It's Convuluted

Fort Worth Police Officer Megan Luz

January 1. A new year full of new resolutions, new possibilities, new opportunities.

[Continue reading Paw and Order by Diane Kelly...]

Dec 26 2014 8:45am

A Night on the Town: Book Clubbing

Some people like going clubbing, and some people like book clubbing, but until now, these two scenes have never really crossed paths. Thanks to Eslite, a revolutionary book store located in Taipei, Taiwan, night-owls are ingesting literature into their nights out.

The five-story store first opened in 1989. Since then, 42 stores have opened in Taiwan, with one more opening recently in Hong Kong. Eslite has it's sights set on China next. This must sound absurd to booksellers of the Western world, considering over one-third of all independentU.K. book stores have shut down. Eslite has avoided this trend by making its store much more than just shopping; it's an experience. With its cafes, restaurants, soothing music and modern design, Eslite is a hip destination for a night out.

Here's to hoping Eslite, or at least something similar, finds its way west. 


Dec 24 2014 12:00pm

Noir’s Goon Squad: Jeff Donnell (This Goon’s a Gal)

Jeff Donnell just seemed nice. Maybe that’s why she was the resident Nice Girl of film noir. She was always cast as the chipper best friend, or the perky wife, or the goofy roommate. No matter the role, she was almost always called upon to project a certain affability and intrinsic kindness. Maybe it came easy, or maybe she just made it look easy. Either way, in a genre of femme fatales she was la femme par excellence.

It must be said, though, that Donnell didn’t just bring big brown eyes and a shy smile to her roles. In her quiet way, she always seemed just a bit savvier than everyone around her. Her best known role was probably in the Nicholas Ray masterpiece In A Lonely Place (1950) where she played the wife of cop Frank Lovejoy. Of all the characters in the plot, she’s the one who most clearly sees that drunken screenwriter Humphrey Bogart is a violent, misogynist loon. In a film full of great performances, Donnell’s restrained turn can be overlooked. But go back and watch the film again and you’ll see the way her steady, all-seeing presence unnerves Bogart from the get-go. She was perfectly paired here with Lovejoy, who was the great Everyman of film noir. Maybe Donnell was noir’s great Everywoman.

[Overlook no more...]

Dec 24 2014 8:45am

Matthew McConaughey: Called to The Stand

The McConaughnaissance continues! Between Dalls Buyers Club, True Detective, Interstellar, and some Lincoln commercials, 2014 proved to be the year of Matthew McConaughey, and it looks like we better get used to seeing him around.

McConaughey has been in talks to sign on to the upcoming film series based off Stephen King's The Stand as the villainous Randall Flagg. Based off King's 1978 post-apocalyptic thriller, the 1,200 word epic will be made into four films to be directed by The Fault in Our Stars' Josh Boone. No word yet on who else will be cast, but that won't stop us from growing excited. Who else would you like to see in these films?

Dec 23 2014 11:00am

Let’s Not Forget Film Noir’s John Dall

John Dall (1918-1971) starred in top Hollywood productions Spartacus, Rope, and The Corn is Green, as well as the cult classic Gun Crazy. All in all, he made eight films, though unfortunately, ending his brief movie career on the campy Atlantis, the Lost Continent (1961). A handsome, charismatic actor with broad acting chops (his impressive debut was starring lead opposite Bette Davis), it’s hard to believe after watching the following three films, back to back, that the name John Dall isn’t more recognizable today.

[Let's try and fix that...]

Dec 23 2014 8:45am

Have You Ever Been Blocked: Black Mirror’s: “White Christmas”

Have you ever wished it possible to block someone in real life, just like you can on Twitter? You're not the only one. Charlie Booker's notoriously chilling and unsettling Black Mirror returns for a special holiday episode “White Christmas” that explores that exact concept. “White Christmas” will star Jon Hamm (Mad Men) and Oona Chaplin (Game of Thrones) and will air on the U.K.'s Channel 4 on Christmas Day.

Dec 22 2014 12:30pm

The Film Noir of Robert Wise

By most measurements, Robert Wise didn’t just succeed as a director—Robert Wise crushed it. He made West Side Story, which, if you adjust for inflation, made about half a billion dollars at the American box office. Then he made The Sound of Music. 2015 will mark the 50 year anniversary of that movie and many articles will doubtless come out to remind us just how gigantic that film was. Adjusted for inflation, it is still the third biggest movie of all time, behind only Gone With The Wind and Star Wars. Like those two films, it wasn’t just a blockbuster, it was a phenomenon. (Read Mark Harris’s wonderful book Pictures At The Revolution, which details how Hollywood basically bankrupted itself trying to duplicate the otherworldly success of The Sound of Music.) Wise walked away from 1965 with armloads of money and awards.

Afterwards, however, he floundered. He followed his monster success with movies that often felt bloated, self-important, and empty. Today, he’s more of a footnote than a legend. His stylistic impact on generations of subsequent filmmakers has been negligible, and there are few academic studies of his work. The Sound of Music has become a beloved classic sure, but it’s not remembered as Robert Wise’s The Sound of Music. It’s remembered as Rogers & Hammerstein’s The Sound of Music.

What all of this obscures, however, is that Robert Wise was a great director.

Not good. Not workmanlike. Not professional.



Dec 22 2014 8:45am

Van Gogh’s Suicide? Forensics Expert Favors Murder

A couple of years ago, two Van Gogh biographers asserted that the artist's famous suicide was, most likely, murder. Steven Naifeh and Gregory White Smith published a book about their findings after a decade of research and met lots of opposition to their conclusions. You can read about that first announcement and resistance to it in The Art Newspaper.

Since then, the biographers have answered back and written a Vanity Fair article describing their process as well as the recent substantiation of their theory by a forensic ballistics expert, Dr. Vincent Di Maio: “It is my opinion that, in all medical probability, the wound incurred by Van Gogh was not self-inflicted. In other words, he did not shoot himself.” From the Vanity Fair article:

Van Gogh himself wrote not a word about his final days. The film got it wrong: he left no suicide note—odd for a man who churned out letters so profligately. A piece of writing allegedly found in his clothes after he died turned out to be an early draft of his final letter to his brother Theo, which he posted the day of the shooting, July 27, 1890. That letter was upbeat—even ebullient—about the future. He had placed a large order for more paints only a few days before a bullet put a hole in his abdomen. Because the missile missed his vital organs, it took 29 agonizing hours to kill him.

... If Van Gogh didn’t shoot himself, who did shoot him? On the one hand, we have a cocky 16-year-old twirling the death weapon with visions of frontier gunplay in his head and a history of taunting the strange painter-man. We have a witness who saw Van Gogh on the road to the Secrétan family villa on the night of the shooting, and we have persistent local rumors that the artist was killed not by his own hand but by “young boys”—rumors recounted by a prominent scholar in the 1930s, before [the movie] Lust for Life fever swept the record smooth.

Read the whole thing. As tragic as suicide is, the biographers' new theory doesn't lack for pathos either, the story of a perpetually bullied weirdo who, to the last, didn't fight back against his tormentor. What do you think happened to Vincent Van Gogh?

Dec 21 2014 12:00pm

Meet Your Baker: New Excerpt

Ellie Alexander

Meet Your Baker by Ellie Alexander is the debut  in the new cozy Bakeshop Mystery series where a recent culinary school grad returns home to help her mother run a bakery (available December 30, 2014).

Welcome to Torte—a friendly, small-town family bake shop where the treats are so good that, sometimes, it’s criminal…

After graduating from culinary school, Juliet Capshaw returns to her quaint hometown of Ashland, Oregon, to heal a broken heart and help her mom at the family bakery. The Oregon Shakespeare Festival is bringing in lots of tourists looking for some crumpets to go with their heroic couplets. But when one of Torte’s customers turns up dead, there’s much ado about murder…

The victim is Nancy Hudson, the festival’s newest board member. A modern-day Lady Macbeth, Nancy has given more than a few actors and artists enough reasons to kill her…but still. The silver lining? Jules’s high school sweetheart, Thomas, is the investigator on the case. His flirtations are as delicious as ever, and Jules can’t help but want to have her cake and eat it too. But will she have her just desserts? Murder might be bad for business, but love is the sweetest treat of all…

Chapter 1

They say it takes a while to recover your land legs after years spent at sea. I sure hoped mine would come back soon.

[Continue reading Meet Your Baker by Ellie Alexander...]

Dec 20 2014 12:00pm

Back to the Beginning: The Bounty Hunters by Elmore Leonard

From the early 1970s until 1992’s Unforgiven, Westerns had become outmoded, pitiful television productions and lame B-films that had run the genre into the dust heap, and unless Clint Eastwood was starring in the saddle, no Western was getting noticed. I was still unabashedly hooked, even with the worst of the lot, and championed the unsung. But during that long, long drought, there was one author’s name that routinely surged, as when an apologist (my definition: owlhoots who loved the genre but were afraid to acknowledge it) would say something along the lines of, “I only read Elmore Leonard Westerns.” Since I hadn’t read Leonard at that point, whenever I would hear such words, I’d hold my worn paperbacks by Max Brand or Luke Short closer to the vest, wagering, “I see your Elmore Leonard and I raise you one Elmer Kelton.”

Then, along the rails, I began devouring Leonard. After Last Stand at Saber River, Hombre, and Valdez Is Coming, I had to take a step back and admit that Leonard was cut from different rawhide. Like Louis L’Amour before him, he was a gifted, natural-born storyteller. Unlike L’Amour, he kept a tighter rein on his characters—L’Amour reminds me of Hemingway in that his genius shows in the short story and not the full-length books he became celebrated for and in which he tends to ramble. Back then, my reading “The Dickens of Detroit” was like discovering the genre for the first time. Leonard was that damn good! Fellow writer Martin Amis told him, “Your prose makes Raymond Chandler look clumsy.” True enough.

[Need we say more?]

Dec 19 2014 12:00pm

Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Broadly speaking, there are two types of mystery stories: whodunnits and whydunnits. We read a mystery story to find out who committed the crime (with the why, the motive, often serving to help the investigator find the culprit), or we read knowing from early on who the guilty party is as the story lays out the reasons, psychological and otherwise, that prompted the crime. An intriguing subclass of the whodunit is the inverted detective story. In this type, the howcatchem, the crime, and usually the perpetrator are shown at the story’s beginning. The main thrust of the drama here becomes how the detective goes about solving the crime and catching, or killing, the perpetrator. Nearly every episode of Columbo follows this format and, more recently, Luther. But what about a mystery story where, from the first pages, the reader knows who did the crime, why they did it, who they killed and how the person was killed – yet no detective solves anything? In Chronicle of a Death Foretold, the setting is a small village in Columbia, South America, and to add to the excess of information known, not only does the reader know all the crime’s particulars, but the characters in the story, the village residents, know before the fatal act occurs who will be killed, by whom, and why. Everyone even remotely connected to the killing knows the pertinent facts, with the possible exception of the victim. When all the typical questions that a mystery story answers are answered from the get-go, what kind of mystery is left? What does the narrative’s investigator need to investigate? It’s precisely these enigmatic areas that are explored in Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel.

[To South America we go...]

Dec 19 2014 8:45am

Number 1 of the Scams of Christmas: Santa Letter Scams

The Santa Letter scam takes the No. 1 spot on this list for several reasons. First, it victimizes parents just trying to do something special for their kids for Christmas, as well as the kids, who'll get bupkus from the Big Guy in the Furry Suit. Not only are people paying for a service the seller may not provide, but even worse, victims may have their identities stolen or their computer infected with malware. Real Naughty List type stuff.

Not surprisingly, the kind of people who run this scam also maintain tons of fake websites for life and health insurance, Medicare assistance, Russian brides, and much, much more. But the emails and websites offering to send custom, handwritten letters from Santa have become so numerous that the Better Business Bureau issued a special warning to consumers on December 1st:

You get an email selling a “Handwritten letter from Santa to Your Child.” It encourages you to make your child’s holiday by purchasing “Santa’s special package” for $19.99.

You click on the link, and it takes you to a website. The site promises the special package contains an “official” nice-list certification and customized letter from Santa. There’s even a free shipping special that ends (not coincidentally) in just few hours.

Since last year, blogger Simply Kierste has assembled and updated a long list of services to request letters from Santa which she and her commenters have used, including the USPS (sorry, their deadline's past), but also the Canada Post (who've processed millions) and the Santa Claus Museum, in Santa Claus, Indiana (where they're accepting letters until Dec. 20th—hurry!). Check her post for much more info, including print-your-own info if you really dropped the snowball. She also lists one e-mail service, a U.S. domain which has been registered since 1998 and seems to have a decent online reputation through user-contributed site Web of Trust, but, of course, always be diligent and alert.

For the present, the worst Santa Letter scammers operate with impunity in other parts of the world. With that in mind, we might need to band together and send our own correspondence asking for help.

Dear Santa:

I know you’re terribly busy right now getting ready for Christmas. However, I wondered if you could think about a special present for some very naughty boys and girls. They pretend to send letters from you and I’m sure you have them on your Naughty List, but instead of just leaving coal in their stockings, could you perhaps consider something special? How about arrest warrants?


That concludes my 12 Scams of Christmas list, and unlike the real holiday, we wouldn't be a bit sorry to see them go. May your holidays be merry and bright and always scam-free!

Mug shot image via ThriftShopCommando.

Terry Ambrose writes the McKenna mystery series set in Hawaii. They're filled with snark, scams, and trouble in paradise.

Dec 18 2014 5:00pm

American Horror Story: Freak Show 4.10: “Orphans”

 Jimmy (Evan Peters) has been jailed for murdering several housewives in the winter finale of American Horror Story: Freak Show Season 4 Episode 10

Dear American Horror Story,

I know I praised you several weeks ago for not rushing into hanging plot lines, throwing in everything including the kitchen sink (and aliens), and really devoting yourselves to character development. All of that was super great.

But if we could please get to the plot line, that would be awesome.

For three weeks, I’ve been waiting for something to happen, and I have to say, this last episode did nothing for me. I appreciate Pepper (Naomi Grossman), the first character to exist in two incarnations of American Horror Story, finally getting some attention and backstory, but it feels too much, too late. I love how her story connects between seasons, but I don’t think an entire episode needed to be devoted to it. It felt like everything else related to the central plot has been put off on the back burner or given two minutes of screen time before moving on to lengthy examinations on singular characters.

[Pumping the brakes was fine. You didn't have to slam them!]

Dec 18 2014 8:45am

Number 2 of the Scams of Christmas: Holiday Heartbreakers

As the holidays roll in, some people get lonely. With our emotions out of control, online dating scams are one of the easiest cons to fall for. Just last month, and not that long after having attended a presentation on how to avoid scams and cons, I heard from a guy in North San Diego County I'll call Frank, who went to an online dating site. One of the profiles he found was for a gorgeous woman who went by the name of “Teri.”

Frank responded to Teri’s inquiry on the website and received a reply the next day. “Thanks so much for the interest! you sound really like a nice man with a good and loving heart of kind, care and honesty..I am so sorry for the late reply... open attachment for my pictures...Distance is not a problem for me..... because i am ready to relocate with my right man…….”

The email described Teri’s background, the fact that she was on a business trip in China, her desire to establish a friendship before a serious relationship, and reiterated her concern about finding an honest man several times.

Fully taken in by his luck in finding such an open and seemingly honest woman—and who doesn't want a little extra holiday sparkle—Frank proposed that they get together upon Teri’s return from China.

That’s when the bad news came with Teri’s next email. “Thanks for your respond......Well i have bad trip in China right now.. .....This is my first time i will be visit China....I have a check of $86,000 here with me.. i try to get it cash..... but the bank here told me that, they don't accept that.” She also asked Frank for $900 for travel expenses to return to LA. She promised…really, really promised, to pay him back when he picked her up at the airport.

Thank goodness Frank wised up at this point, realizing he’d been played. Probably by a guy who bore little resemblance to the gorgeous blonde Frank thought he’d be meeting. With any luck at all, “Teri” is still waiting for a ride at LAX.

Last, and certainly least, on this 12 Scams of Christmas list are the Santa Letter swindlers. Who would stoop so low?

Leading image via ElvgrenPinup.com

Terry Ambrose writes the McKenna mystery series set in Hawaii. They're filled with snark, scams, and trouble in paradise.

Dec 17 2014 12:00pm

Dark Christmas: 7 Noir Holidays Films

I’m not sure why there are so many noirs set around the holidays, but maybe it has something to do with seasonal depression. We all know that this time of year can be especially hard on people, when our usual American propensity toward surface cheer becomes something of a national obligation. After all, we quite literally force each other to be—or to appear to be—“merry” (which, when you think about it, is a weirdly antiquated word that we never use in any other context) and to conform to our national religion of positive thinking. All that forced good cheer just gives some folks the winter blues.

Ah, that’s where film noir comes in. As a genre, noir has always been about what’s found underneath the surface of safe and secure facades. Are you tired of the 24-hour The Christmas Story marathon? Don't have it in you to spend another Christmas with the Cranks, or Fred Claus, or Will Ferrell? Join the club. Maybe this year, try on some film noir to cleanse your holiday palate. Here's an overview of some films that are either Christmas themed noir or are holiday movies with a strong touch of the dark side. Either way, just about everyone on this list has been naughty.

[It's time for a vacation from Christmas Vacation...]

Dec 17 2014 8:45am

Number 3 of the Scams of Christmas: Season’s Breachings

Nobody's merry about this year's data breaches... nobody.

If you have a credit card—and who doesn’t?—you’ve probably been affected by at least one of the infamous data breaches at Home Depot, Michaels, Neiman Marcus, or Target—need I go on? What many people might not realize is that the stolen credit card information is eventually sold online at “card shops”—no, we’re not talking Hallmark.

In fact, just as we have the “internet,” the bad guys have the “darknet.” That’s where those who believe in honor among thieves other can hang out and do business. In the spirit of the holidays, these card shops are also having sales. The one at “goodshop” has thousands of credit cards up for sale in what it calls a “Happy Winter Update.” (By the way, note that its domain name ends in “[dot]bz,” which stands for Belize, and is definitely not the same as “[dot]biz.”) Brian Krebs, a journalist who blogs at Krebs on Security, goes into great depth about those online activities.

Also typical of most card shops, this store’s home page features the latest news about new batches of stolen cards that have just been added, as well as price reductions on older batches of cards that are less reliable as instruments of fraud...

...buyers were offered the ability to search for cards by the city, state and ZIP of the Target and Sally Beauty stores from which those cards were stolen. Experienced carders (as buyers are called) know that banks will often flag transactions as suspicious if they take place outside of the legitimate cardholder’s regular geographic purchasing patterns, and so carders tend to favor cards stolen from consumers who live nearby.

Read all of his Peek Inside a Professional Carding Shop for more info and a helpful glossary, too.

Anytime there’s a data breach, fingers will point and accusations will fly. That’s definitely the case with the fact that the personal information for 800,000 postal workers was recently stolen (hat tip: Engadget).  The FBI is saying they’re not sure who’s behind the attack. The press has already decided it was China. The postal workers union has filed a complaint with the National Labor Relations Board. Politicians are claiming this case proves that the government needs to reform their data security standards. And the Postal Service itself says there's no sign that the data was used maliciously. The postal workers would probably be better off having their credit card numbers stolen, at least that way they’d be offered a free year of credit monitoring.

Down to No. 3 on this 12 Scams of Christmas list, Holiday Heartbreakers, online dating at its worst.

Terry Ambrose writes the McKenna mystery series set in Hawaii. They're filled with snark, scams, and trouble in paradise.

Dec 16 2014 1:30pm

Alexis Smith: A Dynamite Girl’s Film Noir

Alexis Smith (June 8, 1921 – June 9, 1993) was a versatile, Canadian-born actress who was equally at home playing in Hollywood Westerns, comedies, and noirs or just about any genre Tinseltown tossed her way. She played opposite many of the biggest Silver Screen draws including Humphrey Bogart, Barbara Stanwyck, Errol Flynn, and Cary Grant. The publicity machine of the era dubbed her the Dynamite Girl—casting her most often in the role of “The Other Woman”—and after two decades, she met her ultimate critical acclaim for 1959’s The Young Philadelphians opposite Paul Newman. Later, she turned to Broadway where she won a Tony Award in 1972 and in the very early 1990s was nominated for an Emmy Award for her guest appearance on an episode of Cheers. For nearly fifty years she was married to Peter Gunn’s Craig Stevens.

Here are three of the award winning actress’s films with the right mixture of crime, mystery, and noir.

[Now we're talking...]

Dec 16 2014 1:00pm

Now Win This!: Yule Be Sorry Sweepstakes

The best way to spread holiday fear is screaming loud for all to hear.

Click here to enter for a chance to win!

This is NOT a Comments Sweepstakes. You must click the link above to enter.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. A PURCHASE DOES NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCE OF WINNING. Sweepstakes open to legal residents of 50 United States, D.C., and Canada (excluding Quebec), who are 18 years or older as of the date of entry. Promotion begins December 16, 2014, at 1:00 pm ET, and ends December 30, 2014, 12:59 pm ET. Void in Puerto Rico and wherever prohibited by law. Click here for details and official rules.

[Getting run over by a reindeer is the least of your problems...]