Why Is the Rum (and Nightshade) Gone?

Boat owners victimized by the rampaging Jack Sparrow
Boat owners victimized by the rampaging Jack Sparrow
What happens when you mix lots of alcohol and nightshade? Why you turn into none other than Captain Jack Sparrow. Well, sort of.

A woman by the name of Alison Whelan recently stole a ferry from a port in England. I mean I can’t think of any way to top off a two-day bender than with a stolen 100-seat ferry, but then that is just me. And Alison of course.

But who amongst us hasn’t gotten too much drink in them and acted the ass? Maybe found a way onto the roof of the English department at your college? No? Okay, but Alison decided that it was a good idea to unmoor the ferry and then drunkenly steer her way through a crowded port while shouting, “I’m Jack Sparrow” and “I’m a pirate.” (Of course you are Alison.) After causing A LOT of property damage, the boat finally came to rest a mile upstream from where she began. As any drunken story goes, Alison inevitably ran afoul of Johnny Law. Turns out that you tend to draw attention when shouting, “I’m a pirate” and playing bumper boats on your local river. She pleaded guilty to “aggravated vehicle theft.”

This all just goes to show you that friends shouldn’t tell friends with drinking problems about Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Hat tip- The Sun

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