Over the last couple of years, the outreached fingers of New Jersey’s dawn have touched upon hundreds, nay, thousands of donuts appearing on the fishing pier and the waters at Newton Lake Park in Collingswood. It must be said that we are pro spontaneous manifestation of baked goods and snack cakes of all description, which (author Cathleen A. Daly has conclusively proven with pix) do float like the proverbial Moses’ basket. What unexpected sweetness in troubled times!
You may only imagine our dismay upon learning that, via KSEE, the ongoing floating donut miracle is due to a nefarious donut shop employee, caught sticky-fingered by park police at 6:15 am with 3 trash bags full of deep-fried joy and old hair nets. Bleck.
If the miraculous apparition of the Floating Donut is a sham, what next? The Great Pumpkin? There ought to be a statute against breaking our hearts.