This Victorian-era, silver-plated magnifying glass will instantly provide you with all the credibility you'll ever need to call yourself a detective.
A vintage piece from the 1800s, this magnifying glass measures over a foot in length, with a glass approximately 4 inches in diameter. Its size and heft ensure that even when you're not using it for serious investigative work, it can effectively double as a murder weapon at least as equally efficient as a candlestick (we see you over there in the back of the Conservatory, Professor Plum).
So go ahead and forget about signing up for Police Academy. All that study and physical exertion is for suckers. This baby is all the certification you'll need to live out your lifelong dream of becoming a private eye.