Three Reasons Not to Involve Your Dog in Criminal Activities

From the amazing and hilarious (if rude, crude, and occasionally completely unacceptable) Tumblr, Texts from Dog.

Text from Dog: Reward scheme comic

1. He doesn’t understand the concept of money or ownership. Well, except that he will happily “mark” anything you steal, which will lead the police right to both of you when his DNA shows up everywhere.








Text From Dog Cartoon: Gandalf2. He is easily distracted, regardless of what he’s supposed to be doing. Unless, of course, you are stealing something edible, in which case the bounty won’t make it to your car.









Text From Dog cartoon: Zombie Pigeon and Batdog3. Regardless of what he believes, he does not have superpowers. And, really, do you want the molding corpses of smaller animals along for the ride when you take off, tires screeching, Batdog’s ears flying back as he sticks his head out the window?


  1. Saundra Peck

    HYSTERICAL…. SO my english bulldog!!!!

  2. Heather Waters (redline_)

    This is amaaaaazing. (Not that I’m given to hyperbole or anything.) Seriously, though, just had to email this link to my roommates: we could not stop laughing the last time we saw a collection of these texts. So funny.

  3. Tabitha Jensen

    oh those are great they make me piddle myself with gleee…still prefer my cat though.

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