Perhaps you'd assumed that those scriveners' tears not softly pattering onto stubborn blank pages were all collected by cruel reviewers for their dark sabbaths. Apparently, however, they're turned into Irish whiskey, which seems more appropriate when you think about it, right?
For more information on scads of authentically Irish writers and the locations of the many wooden surfaces upon which those dear foreheads might've acquired the occasional splinter, visit the official site for Writers Tears whiskey. Now, how can we here at HQ get someone to bring us a bottle in their international carry-on?