A gentleman and scholar—wait ’til you read his curriculum vitae!—was arrested for setting fire to a laundromat in Oklahoma City. Per NewsOK, he told police that he held seven college degrees and said he’d worked as an:
- architectural engineer
- truck driver
- mixed martial artist
- traveling disc jockey
- phlebotomist [medical drawer of blood]
- sex toy engineer
He also claimed to have degined the Green Goblin’s hoverboard, and, obviously overqualified for mere arson (damn this economy!), asked to be leg-shackled as his feet were “certified weapons” in Nevada. Given the glamor of his previous professions, we imagine something like this.
Dance into a brighter future, overqualified supervillain!