Stink-Bombing: An Odiferous Crime

Spicebomb cologne
Only thing worse would be an Old Spice bomb.
You know when you step into the elevator and the doors close and you suddenly wish you’d waited for the next one because your eyes are watering and you are about to faint from the smell of cologne someone has too-liberally applied? That’s what the grenade-shaped containers for “Spicebomb” make me think of. Tear gas. I realize that’s not what they’re going for with their claim that the cologne is “an explosive cocktail of virility that transforms you into a powerful, intense and daring man,” but I guess I am not their target audience, either.

(Nor, I should point out, lest you think this is simply a sexist comment, am I the target audience for their “Flowerbomb,” which is a pink perfume in a glass grenade-shaped bottle.)

Comments

  1. Christopher Morgan

    Wow, that is almost as great as “50% of the time, it works every time” Ron Burgundy fame.

  2. Clare 2e

    Yeah, but Sex Panther is made with bits of real panther.

  3. Dirk Robertson

    One thing worse than the over-use of cologne, is not washing then putting it on. A smell more evil, I have not encountered. When walking through the airport and brought to my knees, yet again, by more foul smelling concoctions, I am tempted to stop the perpetrators and say “You don’t have to use the whole bottle at once.” I don’t, of course, as my courage is weaker than my motivation, but who knows, one day……………..

  4. Dirk Robertson

    Just read that the season’s must have scents range from woody, mossy notes to citrus scents. The experts says that perfume should be applied not behind the ear as there are sweat glands there but on the inside of the wrist and elbow. They also recommend the dip of the collar bone directly below the ear lobe, behind the knee and behind the ankles. This should all be sealed in with body cream. I am now petrified some of the people who brought me to my knees with their liberal sprinkling of cologne, perfume eau de whatever, will apply whole bottles in exactly this fashion. I travel again soon, I will find out……

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