But feel free to put a scarf on it and set it loose in a major metropolitan area.
In a world where crazy people dismember others on film or throw their intestines at police, we were happy to run across this endearing news story yesterday. According to WTOV in Pittsburgh:
Multiple motorists called to report that a baby pig sporting a scarf was trying to cross the inbound lanes of the Parkway West, or Interstate 376 . . .
State troopers were able to spot the pig, but couldn’t catch up to it.
We’ll leave the jokes to you. Let’s just say that as of this writing, no one had managed to bring home the bacon.
Poo Bear was unwilling to comment on Piglet’s sudden sense of Wanderlust.
We can only see the scarf, but I heard this civic ambassador for Pittsburgh may also have been wearing lipstick.
If you give a pig a scarf, then he’ll run down the highway. If he runs down the highway, then the police chase after him. If the police chase after him, he becomes bacon. Don’t give a pig a scarf and let him become bacon.