In Soviet Russia… Grandma Kills Wolf

I wouldn’t mess with her at all...
I wouldn’t mess with her at all…
Oh Yakov Smirnoff, are you ever not relevant? 1980s stand-up comics aside, apparently the village of Novo Biryuzyak in Dagestan, Russia, is home to one of the toughest grannies this side of Siberia.

Aishat Maksudova was tending her cattle and sheep when a wolf decided to have himself a tasty snack. Not willing to take crap from a predator who has been hunting both animal and man for quite some time now, the 56-year-old grandma pulled a captured calf from the vile clutches of the wolf.

Now this came as a bit of a surprise to the wolf, who then decided that the pink fleshy thing needed to learn proper respect for wolf-kind and took a nice healthy bite out of Aishat’s hand. When asked about the event, the woman said, “With an open mouth, the wolf suddenly jumped on me, the wolf clawed into my leg and when I raised my arm up the wolf was just holding my hand; trying to claw my hand.”

According to reports, Aishat wanted to just throttle the wolf to death, but was, ahem, forced to reach for her ax when she was unable to pry off the animal’s teeth. This is one badass babushka.

So to sum up, a grandma stared down a predator that has been haunting humans since we domesticated our food, said the Russian equivalent of “So what?,” and then, not being able to beat the thing to death with her bare hands like she wanted, she axed it to death while it was trying to literally bite off a piece of her. As I have said before, one is never too old to be awesome.

I lift my glass to you Aishat, you complete badass.

Hat tip: Metro UK