High Elf Engages in Battle with an Evil Automobile

Police in Portland arrested a man identifying himself as a “High Elf” after he bushwhacked a woman’s car believing it to be the evil villain from a J.R.R. Tolkien novel.

The woman in the 'evil villain' car phoned the cops thinking the man was pretending to be a pirate when he ran up wearing chain-mail armor while brandishing a sword and shield, then started stabbing the innocent car repeatedly. After the attacks ended, the car was left with several puncture holes. Fortunately, the woman in the car was not injured during the attack.

Morgoth from The Silmarillion
Morgoth from The Silmarillion
The man was placed under arrested and then told authorities he was a “high elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth.”

Who is Morgoth? Morgoth appeared in the Tolkien book The Silmarillion, where the character became the very first “Dark Lord” and Sauron's mentor. Okay, I'll stop nerding-off and get back to the story…

The man was ultimately charged with disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, and menacing. He was also taken to a local hospital, where he told the doctors he popped some LSD before the incident took place.


  1. Katherine Hyde

    Only in Portland. There’s a guy there (not, I think, on drugs) who regularly rides around town on a unicycle dressed as Gandalf or various other characters.

  2. Joe Brosnan

    @Katherine: I imagine him on his unicycle stopping traffic and telling cars they shall not pass.

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