Get the Mace: Stalker Retro Playlist Top 5

5. Lilly (My One and Only) – Smashing Pumpkins

“Cause I’m hanging in this tree, in the hopes that she will catch a glimpse of me. And through her window shade, I watch her shadow move…”

Uh, cut the tree down and deadbolt the windows.

4. Don’t You Want Me – The Human League

“Don’t, don’t you want me? You know I don’t believe it when I hear that you won’t see me.”

Locks might not cut it. Send a hardcopy of restraining order (but remember not to put down return address!)

3. Every Breath You Take – Police

“Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I’ll be watching you.”

Ok, restraining order won’t do the trick here. You need to get some trained Dobermans.

2. One Way or Another – Blondie

“And if the lights are all out, I’ll follow your bus downtown. See who’s hanging out. One way or another, I’m gonna find ya.”

Dobermans are not enough. It’s time to eBay a high-voltage taser gun.

(And the one that gets the prize…)

1. Ike Turner and the Family Vibes – Garbage Man

“Hey, hey girl. I am your garbage man. I come ‘round your house each and every day. I just want to know your name.”

Yeah, OK you got yourself a date. Let’s go listen to that beautiful 24-inch color TV.


  1. incogn(tav)ito

    at the risk of blowing my cyberstalking cover…i must remark on how half of these are on playlists i’ve made for you. oh the irony.

  2. Cathy Zhu Chen

    ike turner forever. ’nuff said.

  3. incogn(tav)ito

    the original chris brown

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