Free Room, Walrus Costume, Fish Tossing. Seems Legit.

Echo in a walrus Halloween costume by Kristin Kittle

If I lived with someone making these sounds, I'd call poison control, but to someone else, they represent the ideal roommate. Here's a recent U.K. ad for free lodging:

Among the many things I have done in my life is to spend three years alone on St. Lawrence Island. These were perhaps the most intense and fascinating years of my life, and I was kept in companionship with a walrus whom I named Gregory. Never have I had such a fulfilling friendship with anyone, human or otherwise, and upon leaving the island I was heartbroken for months…

I have, over the last few months, been constructing a realistic walrus costume, which should fit most people of average proportions, and allow for full and easy movement in character. To take on the position as my lodger you must be prepared to wear the walrus suit for approximately two hours each day (in practice, this is not two hours every day – I merely state it here so you are able to have a clear idea of the workload). Whilst in the walrus costume you must be a walrus – there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus – I believe there aer recordings available on the web – to me, the voice is the most natural thing I have ever heard. Other duties will involve catching and eating the fish and crabs that I will occasionally throw to you whilst you are being the walrus.

He doesn't want to hear any talk about shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings, but you'll have to read the rest to learn about the accordion.

It reminded me of this ad seeking a paid person to dress as an owl and watch the advertiser sleep. If this is a thing now, what do we call it?

Nature noises via Soundboard. Image of Echo by Kristin Kittle via Southern Living.


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