Dear Mulder & Scully: Advice for the Abducted

This week's guest columnist are FBI Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dr. Dana Scully, who—I want to believe—keep each other “balanced.” 

Dear Mulder and Scully,

On a night two weeks ago, I had just come off a shift at the local PD where I work. It was late, close to midnight, and I was traveling on a rural road. It was very dark and no moon was out, which made it very obvious when a bright light suddenly appeared in the sky. It grew in size as it approached, finally splitting into 3 smaller lights. They flew so erratically that I almost crashed my car trying to keep them in view. I pulled over and got out of my car with my phone to take pictures. I was only able to get a couple, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on my back in a field, at least 100 feet from my car.

As I drove home, I noticed the clock in my car was showing 2 a.m. My watch and phone also said this. There was a strange burn, like a sunburn, on my face. Later, I found a mark in the shape of a triangle on my side that hadn’t been there before.

Given my position, I haven’t told anyone else—instead making up stories about a random sunburn, but it’s been very uncomfortable to shave, so I’ve taken time off under the guise of sickness. I’ve enclosed the photos. Please tell me I’m not crazy.

—One Crazy Night

Dear OCN,

Mulder: Scully, we may be back in business.

Scully: Calm down, Mulder. Who’s to say this guy didn’t make all of this up?

Mulder: But the pictures, Scully, look. And, he’s a cop.

Scully: You ever hear of Photoshop?

Mulder: Credible witness, Scully.

Scully: Ok—but maybe he just thinks he saw all of that. It could’ve been helicopters or even aircraft test runs from the nearby military base.

Mulder: Helicopters couldn’t maneuver in the fashion he talks about. Plus, look at the colors and shapes of the lights, Scully.

Scully: If it’s a secret aircraft, that could explain all of these things. Maybe even the superficial burns on his cheek.

Mulder: Also, more importantly, what would explain his loss of time and what would render him unconscious? I’m telling you Scully, all signs point to extraterrestrial activity.

Scully: Mulder. I need to look at your dose again, don’t I?

Mulder: I’ve been off those for 3 months now, you know that.

Scully: *sigh* Ok. Listen, we need to get back on track here. This person wrote in for our help, and clearly he needs it. So, let me say that there could be a number of logical and scientific reasons behind the—phenomena—that was purportedly experienced. Given that, and I really don’t want to say this, but I think this case may be one of a paranormal nature.

Mulder: HA! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. What was that again? Could you just say that last bit again?

Scully: Mulder, don’t make me regret this. I was just thinking it would have made an excellent case for the X-Files, that’s all. Stop smiling.

Mulder: What? I’m smiling? We can’t have that. And, in case you were wondering, I agree. Now, let’s give them our contact information and see what we can do for this fine citizen.


Amber Keller is a writer who delves into dark, speculative fiction, particularly horror and suspense/thrillers. You can find her work on her Amazon Author Page and she also features many short stories on Diary of a Writer. A member of the Horror Writers Association, she contributes to many websites and eMagazines and you can follow her on Twitter @akeller9.


  1. Doreen Sheridan

    Yes, yes, this is all well and good, but I’d really like to hear what they think about workplace romances ;).

  2. Teddy P

    Mulder and Scully <3

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