Tue
Aug 22 2017 10:00am

Discount: This Book Is Full of Spiders by David Wong

The sequel to the genre-bending, humorous, cult sensation John Dies At the End returns fans to the ridiculous adventures of David and John as they are inadvertently charged with saving the world from a zombie apocalypse. Downpriced to $2.99 throughout August in anticipation of the third and final book in the series, What The Hell Did I Just Read?, releasing 10/3.

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.

You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection—the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.

Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
 

 

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