This was the perfect chance to re-launch Cooking the Books with our new CrimeHQ test kitchen staff—or so we thought. We had a bunch of recent, appealing crime-related recipes, but unfortunately, after assigning them, the feedback from our test crooks cooks was a little less constructive than we'd hoped. You'll see what we mean…
After trying The Cozy Cookbook's “Charmed Bacon Lattice Breakfast Pie” by Ellery Adams, here are the testing notes from a Thriller's Disposable Henchman:
The instructions say Bake until crisp, approximately 25 minutes. Couldn't the timing be more precise? Why, I have this handy ticking clock right next to me, and… [rest illegible and aflame]
From “Cake Pops” by Jenn McKinlay, testing notes from a Town Busybody:
It should be called “cake popular,” because this recipe makes 30. Who has that many people to give sweets to? Don't get me wrong, I try to stay involved in goings-on in my community, but really, if I dropped dead, I think people would probably just stand around making snide comments and jokes. Here's my version of the recipe for a single cake pop. Tell the author to put it in her next book. You're welcome.
From The Mystery Writers of America Cookbook's “Worth-the-Effort-Turkey-Tetrazzini” by Hank Phillippi Ryan, testing notes from Distractingly Handsome Local Law Enforcement:
My apron says Kiss the Sheriff, but next week, I might be a detective, maybe Chief of Police. But there's one thing that's certain: even with corpses piling up, cruel injustices, and imminent danger everywhere, you will find yourself precoccupied with how damned attractive I am. Who could blame you? My twinkling eyes, the warmth of my smile… wait, what was I supposed to be cooking again?
From “Grandma's Killer Chocolate Cake” by James Patterson, testing notes from a French Prisoner:
As I did not possess the bitter chocolate required, I substituted grains of the darkest grave dirt watered with tears of contempt. During baking, the dessert proved incapable of rising above futility. I didn't care.
From Meet Your Baker by Ellie Alexander's “Raspberry Danish,” testing notes from a Violent Gang Member:
This Danish, made in round cake pans, reminds me of the way we always circle around our targets, each of us patiently taking turns attacking the lone hero in the center. Has anyone tried using blueberry jam in this recipe? Let us know—we'll wait to bake it until you do!
Yeah, after all that, we decided it might be best just to let you have the chance to try them out for yourselves.
This Sweepstakes has ended. Thanks for entering!
Comment below for a chance to win The Cozy Cookbook, The Mystery Writers of America Cookbook, and the first two books in Ellie Alexander's Bakeshop series, Meet Your Baker and A Batter of Life and Death!
To enter, make sure you're a registered member of the site and simply leave a comment below.
TIP: Since only comments from registered users will be tabulated, if your user name appears in RED above your comment—STOP—go log in, then try commenting again. If your user name appears in BLACK above your comment, You’re ENTERED!
Test Kitchen Comment Sweepstakes: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A purchase does not improve your chances of winning. Sweepstakes open to legal residents of 50 United States, D.C., and Canada (excluding Quebec), who are 18 years or older as of the date of entry. To enter, complete the “Post a Comment” entry at https://www.criminalelement.com/blogs/2015/05/cooking-the-books-with-the-crime-hq-test-kitchen beginning at 10:00 a.m. Eastern Time (ET) May 21, 2015. Sweepstakes ends 9:59 a.m. ET May 28, 2015. Void outside the United States and Canada and where prohibited by law. Please see full details and official rules here. Sponsor: Macmillan, 175 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10010.
Absolutely great collection!
Sounds like a lot of fun! I would really enjoy these books.
What a great group of books. If I win, I promise to try some recipes and give at least as good reviews.
Thank you all for sharing your recipes with us.
this is an awesome prize that you are giving for this drawing.
What a wonderful package to have as a giveaway! I really love when mysteries combine with the world of food. Thank you to all the authors who write these books.
great group of books!
What a great group of books!
Thanks for the great giveaway!
Nice giveaway!
Am logged in on the Criminal Element site. These books sound like our household could benefit from the stories and concoctions. Thanks for this giveaway. It is Memorial Day in the early am (CST)!
OH! just found this site with these great sounding reads!
This looks to be a nice collection of treats for the mind as well as the tummy if one uses the recipes.
Would love to own any of these books
I love cookbooks, would be great to win.
I love Cozy Mysteries!
The books look great. Good luck everyone
I have always wanted to read the Cozy Mysteries. Would really like to win.
Half of my education has come from mystery novels; cooking can join the list.
I’ve loved cozies since I started reading Agatha Christie when I was eleven years old, and I also love to cook, so as far as I’m concerned, this is the perfect prize. 🙂 Thanks so much for the chance.
What fun, would love this. Thanks for the opportunity.
I just love the titles of these books…so clever.
Hope I win; thanks for the chance!
Marvelous prize! I so love cozies.
I think my Mom would like these books
looks interesting
Would love to win!
very nice
I would love to win this amazing collection.!!
Would love to win, thanks for this chance, I am learning to cook and have no cook books yet so I have to google everything.
Would love to win. They all sound great.
The book sounds good.
Sounds delicious, count me in.
Thanks so much for the chance 🙂
Perfect for me-I love mysteries and I love cooking.
This would be great, thanks.
A Batter of Life and Death, what a title!!! Love it!!!!
I’m a dreadful cook; fortunately, I have no problems eating slop.
I love a good read and a cookbook is as good as a novel for me so I would love to win this great prize!
Delicious prizes!!
I would like these as I collect cookbooks.
Gotta have it!!
Wonderful collection of books, thanks for the chance to win.
I need these!
Love trying new recipes – these would be awesome books!!
I love mysteries, I love cookbooks – thanks for the chance to win.
I’d love to try some of my favorite author’s recipes. Thanks!
How marvelous, these book were made for me! I have just the spot in the kitchen to keep them and semi-display them after consumption too.
The mystery of cooking – why not?
What a great giveaway! I would love to win.
Thanks for this chance!
These are some adorable looking books!
looks good
They all sound delicious!
I would like this
This looks like fun-thank you!
sounds awesome!!
Books and food are a winning combination!
I am, as suggested, simply leaving a comment below. And you know what to do with it, People!
Reading and cooking – two of my favorite hobbies.
Sounds wonderful!
I’d love to win this collection!
Yay!
[u][b]Wonderful collection![/b][/u]
cookbooks and mysteries…..what could go wrong?
Those would go quite nicely with my other culinary staples: “The Dark Shadows Cookbook” (compiled by Jody Cameron Malis, Ace Books 1970), and “Cooking to Kill!: the Poison Cook-book” (concocted by Prof. Ebenezer Murgatroyd, Peter Pauper Press 1951). (insert sinister chuckle or fiendish grin here)
Sounds like a thrilling, fun cookbook.
Awesome collection — and I love the comments on the recipes in this post.
Thanks for the giveaway.
What a great smorgasbord.
Exactly how I feel in the kitchen much of the time! Throw in the towel & read a cozy mystery instead!!
looks like fun!
Love the baking concept, I would like them more if, I could eat them, but as I am Celiac, I look for gluten free recipes.
Since I enjoy baking and reading mysteries, I would love to win this fabuolous prize! Thanks
Food and mysteries – a great combination! I actually still use my Nancy Drew Cookbook!
Nothing better than cookbooks and mysteries – great prize. Thanks for a chance to win!
I think I bake just like your reviewers, but I’m willing and maybe able to take a stab at the recipes. Or I can just invite my daughter-in-laws over and let them work at it. Thanks for the opportunity to win.
I love cook books
Sounds scrumptious!!! What a delightful collection of books to bundle together for a giveaway!!! Thanks for the opportunity to win & good luck to all who enter!!!:)
There is nothing better than a good mystery with recipes!! I love this genre. I look forward to reading all these books.
Cookbooks and mysteries = a winning combination!
Food and reading! Love it.
I would love to win. I love to read about food and murder.
What a fun group of books! Thanks for the chance to win.
The Cozy category really needs a sub-category. “Cozies with Recipies”
Thanks for the giveaway. Great books!
Would love to read these books.
I would love these!
I have a seperate section of my library for, mostly mystery, books that have receipes in them. I started it with Nero Wolfe and continued it with the Diane Mott Davidson series. It now takes up several shelves.
I would ove to have these!!!!
The MWA cookbook looks beautiful!
All these books look interesting.
This sounds interesting and I would like to have a copy of this book.
I would like to have a copy of this book because it sounds interesting .
Count me in, please!
Two of my favorite things…good food and good mysteries. Sounds perfect for my summer anyway!
There’s items for both of us – we’d have fun with these books.
Wow I would love to own these, thank you for the chance to win
Would LOVE to win these books!
I love the ‘punny’ titles of these cozy mysteries. Great fun to read, and probably even better with the Mystery Writers of America Cookbook. It’s not every day that we incorporate the senses of taste and smell into an engaging read.
Good luck to all who enter!
I love mysteries with recipes! And I’d love to win these books!
I would love reading these great titles and also trying the recipes. Thanks for the chance by offering this wonderful giveaway!
what a great contest!! I love recipes, cookbooks, and mysteries. This would be awesome to win!
This is a great giveaway, never heard of these cookbooks!
As the newly appointed chief cook and bottle-washer in my home, these would be great, thanks for the chance.
I look forward to winning and reading these books. I need something to take my mind off all of the rain we are receiving here in Oklahoma!!
I love cook books and there have been a few cozy mysteries with recipes in them that I would love to make some time. Maybe some are in these.
Well, guess I have to do this again. I do love cook books. So I’m sure there are some good ones in these. Look forward to trying out some.
Food & a good book to read; what could be better?
Reading and cooking- two of my favorite things!
Oh how I love mysteries, especially ones with great recipes.
Sounds like great books.
I love mysteries with recipes included!
Oh…how I love mysteries and great recipes.
looks like some fun ones!
Great sweeps!
Yes, please enter me in this sweepstakes.
Thanks —
now this would be a fun collection, thanks
I really want to win.
I didn’t realize there would be comedy too. That makes it even better. I would love to add these books to my collection and try some of these recipes…not the one with dirt and tears.
I love it when authors cook up a good mystery and I cook up their recipes.
What a fun contest. I will probably burn any recipe I try, because I will be reading one of the books while baking.
I collect cookbooks and love food-related cozy mysteries, so this is a GREAT giveaway!
Sounds mighty delicious – would love to win!
Good deal, count me in!
I love mysteries with recipes, would love to have these books.
would love more cookbooks to add to my collection
sounds great sign me up
What a super prizepack! I love cookbooks, I collect them, and try to pick out a new recipe to try at least twice a month. I’d also love to be able to read the other books in the giveaway. Thanks for the chance! 🙂
These look right up my galley. har har!
These just look Fun!
This is awesome. Thanks.
These sound like a great set of books.
Thanks for the great giveaway!
Great reviews!!!! I would love to read these books and try the recipes.
These look amazing! I can’t wait to get my hands on all of them but especially the Mystery Writers of America Cookbook!
Keep trying to get back into cooking likethe old days
Love to read the cozy mysteries. I also watch them on Hallmark.
What a great collection of books! I would really enjoy these.
Good thing they are good authors. Not sure they make it as cooks or chefs. 🙂
What a great collection of books!
Um, are any of the recipes for how to hide the taste of human flesh? I am thinking that the only way to truly dispose of a body would be to feed it to some unsuspecting foodies, a la the abusive husband in [u]Fried Green Tomatoes. [/u]
“No, really, it’s roast pork with a raspberry reduction, Larry couldn’t make it, he’s…out of town!”
I’ve had “Meet Your Baker” on my list since your initial review. Winning a copy would be a great way to move it from my list to my carry-with-me-everywhere, which is how I tend to read a book. I learned that from my Aunt Betty, who reads between read lights, bless her heart.
Great collection of books, thanks for the giveaway!
How fun and can I really have a great time trying recipes and reading some great authors. These books really get me smiling and excited!
I absolutely love new recipes!
What a great collection of books to win! I’d love to have them.