The Fears of Our Fathers Turned Fun: Nazi Roundup

There are, I think, three levels of fear. First there is the often paralyzing monster-under-the-bed, the shapeless, formless thing that might jump out and kill you or—worse yet—pull you under into its dark lair. Then comes the it’s-out-there-but-I’ll-cope fear: Pervy McPerv who hangs out in the park where you take your kids, the gang of ne’er do wells who make it difficult for you to step into your favorite deli, even, at some level, the suicide bomber you know might be waiting around the corner. Beyond them come…zombies. Vampires. Objects of humor as much as of terror.

For me, Nazis have never been a first-level fear the way they were for my father who came here as a refugee, running for his life when his own home country, Holland, was overrun. Even the abstract idea of mob rule combined with anti-semetism only reached level two. I knew it was out there. And especially when I went to college in the midwest, I understood how it could happen, but it was something I could compartmentalize into a corner of my mind.

But sometime over the past couple of years, Nazis slid down in rank from first level to second level all the way to the bottom. Sure, there are still books and movies set during World War Two that make the terror real. But it’s a fear of events past.  The neo-Nazi movement fails to terrify modern kids, who collect pictures of Kitlers (cats that look like Hitler) on the ’net. They’re subjected to movies like Dead Snow, in which a group of vactationing med students are attacked by…Nazi Zombies! And yes, this is supposed to be frightening, I am pretty sure, but it’s not. 

Of course, if frozen Nazi zombies are your thing, you can have one for yourself.  A 12″ figurine from the ZomBee toy company.

Or perhaps you don’t necessarily want this guy hanging out with you all the time. Perhaps that’s more than you need in your daily life. You want something a little more cheerful.

Well, in that case, you may just want to be able to turn on your computer and play Stalin vs. Martians. I have never played this game but in the clips I’ve seen, Stalin appears to be the dance master. That’s a bit scary for me, since I have no rhythm, but that’s about all the terror to be found here.

Stalin’s not the only historical figure off in space these days, though.  No, a new movie, premiering at the Berlin Film Festival this month and coming soon to a theater near you, will reveal what none of you knew before…in 1945, the Nazis built a base on the moon, and now they’re getting ready to come back and take over the world! Awesome!

I love bad movies, so I will almost assuredly see that one. It looks excellently awful.

I am sure I have missed some Nazi ridiculousness.  Anyone got some to share?

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Laura K. Curtis lives in Westchester, NY, with her husband and 3 dogs who’ve taught her how easily love can co-exist with the desire to kill.  She blogs at Women of Mystery and maintains an online store at TorchSongs GlassWorks.  She can also be found on Twitter and poking her nose into all sorts of trouble in various spots around the web.