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Showing posts tagged: Imposter click to see more stuff tagged with Imposter
Nov 1 2012 9:45am

Paid, Costumed Owl Watches You Sleep. Seems Legit.

An unusual online job posting was reposted at Regretsy. For $30/hour (negotiable), it’s worth checking out:

...I’m looking for somebody to sit in my room at night and watch over me as I sleep. Recently I have had a lot of trouble sleeping and I think it would be comforting if I knew somebody was there.

I’d also like it if you were to wear a small owl costume as you do so. I have always found great comfort in the idea that owls are the natural lookouts of our world and so it would really help. I’d be prepared to pay you up to $40 if you were to wear the costume and maybe $35 if you don’t want to wear the costume but will stick a feather or two to your forehead...

I will provide you one muesli bar if you get hungry but no dinner breaks. I’d prefer if you didn’t face me when you ate the bar as I would find that very offputting even if i’m [sic] already asleep. You can of course use my bathroom. But only two hours after I fall asleep to ensure that I won’t suddenly wake up to find the room empty...

You know what happens when the room’s empty? The owl’s gone to get the chainsaw.

Amazing images from Italian horror flick via Hugo Stiglitz Makes Movies

Dec 17 2011 3:09pm

The Girl with the Tramp Stamp Tattoo

Do you think the reason that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is now hitting theaters 5 hours earlier (from calendar 12/21 to evening 12/20) is because Rooney Mara feels the clove-cigarette scented breath of competition down the back of her goth hoodie?

Crass language ahead, but what else would you expect from Emma Roberts and Joe Manganiello starring in Funny or Die’s The Girl with the Tramp Stamp Tattoo?

Dec 16 2011 9:45am

Not an Imposter or Sock Puppet, She’s a Composite!

Susan Lee Ward is the name- who the head belongs to is anyone’s guess.There’s a term you may have run across online: sock puppet.  A sock puppet is an online identity created for the purpose of defending/promoting/cheerleading some person or cause to which you’re attached without it being obvious.  Of course, there are also imposters, who claim to be someone else, or hide that they’re the underpaid assistants to someone else.

But the newest, and hard-to-explain tack, is the one taken by a site designed to attract females of the baby boomer generation.  Two women, of undisclosed ages, are the site’s editorial directors, and rather than post as either one of themselves or even both, they created a “composite” woman with a stranger’s face. This fake person even authors posts, because there’s nothing experienced women enjoy like dealing with overt phonies. (wait, wha?) Their explanation for it deserves to be read verbatim (pulled from MediaBistro):

Susan Lee Ward is a composite created and managed by the Vibrant Nation staff to represent themselves and the Vibrant Woman. is about its community and not any one person, and we believe that placing a single staff member in front of our community could distract our visitors and readers from the real subject at hand – them. That said, we know that faces and names can better represent the individuals behind Vibrant Nation than a disembodied title. Since we couldn’t invent a typical Vibrant Woman (there being no such thing!) we created the composite Vibrant Woman, representing a summation of what our members tell us about themselves. Susan Lee Ward is managed by the all-woman Vibrant Nation editorial team: Cara Reynolds and Beth Blakely.

Points for transparency with deductions for incomprehension.  That said, I will freely admit that CrimeHQ isn’t a single, real person either, but is a rotating assignment, like a duty desk or being tagged as a temporary cafeteria chaperone.  Perhaps in some glorious future, everyone will have their 15 minutes of being CrimeHQ! Anyway, top of my head, I can think of 13 people who’ve been CrimeHQ here or in our social media to date, so if we ever wanted an avatar, rather than an attractive stock gallery model, I think we’d need something more like this-

There aren’t actually enough heads on this hydra for all of us, but the attitude’s right.

Dec 7 2011 9:45am

Sexiest Authors of 2011? Look out for 1911!

Brad P as Brad PIt’s that recapping time of year, and the magnificent Jen Forbus of Jen’s Book Thoughts has released her shortlist of Crime Fiction’s Sexiest Authors of 2011. Go see them all!

However, the crown does not always rest lightly. For example, Brad Parks of the “award-winning” category has a pair of fictional mischievous interns who’ve since created a gallery of Brad’s sexiest personas, including this unforgettable appearance.



Dame Agatha Christie looks incredible in a one-piece

Obviously, some people have forgotten that Dame Agatha was a surfing wahini. How’s Parks gonna beat this tight game in the all-time sexy author sweeps?

Dec 5 2011 9:45am

Guilt by Association: Innocent Kitlers

KitlerWe spend so much time talking about evildoers, we’d like just spare a thought, if you will, for the innocent.  Not the victims of crime, but of guilt by association.  Of course, we’re speaking of kitlers, otherwise known as kitties or cats that look like Hitler




Sometimes, these victims of furry circumstance have trouble getting adopted, but couldn’t we just call them Charlie Catlins?Charlie Chaplin