Fri
Mar 1 2013 8:45am

Rules to Live By: Yeti Hunting

Yeti: Curse of the Snow DemonSay that you are an aspiring young adventurer and amateur cryptozoologist. You’ve decided that you are going to travel the world to find answers to some of our time’s bigger mysteries. What’s the deal with Chupacabra? Is there a Mrs. Bigfoot? What’s the plural of Sasquatch? The main thing is that if you want to go hunting Yeti, you’ll have to abide by the law.

In 1957, in an effort to establish lasting diplomatic relations with the country of Nepal, the U.S. government issued regulations for the hunting of the Abominable Snowman himself. They are:

1) Royalty of 5000 Rupees must be paid to the government of Nepal. (You always have to have a permit to hunt after all…)

2) In case the Yeti is found, it can be photographed or caught alive, but it must not be killed except in self-defense. All photos taken, or the creature itself if captured alive or dead, must be surrendered to the Government of Nepal at the earliest convenience. (Seems…reasonable.)

3) News and reports throwing light on the existence of the creature must be submitted to the Government of Nepal and must not be shared with the world press. (I mean news like that gets out, you’re going to have FLOCKS of hunters, right?)

Got to say, looking at these regulations, it would be much better to be the Abominable Snowman than his/her American cousin Bigfoot. Last May, the State of Texas’s Department of Parks and Wildlife indicated it might be okay to hunt Bigfoot and kill it dead. I’d pray for Nessie. At this point, her days seem numbered.

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