It’s a tough question, but one all of us should be prepared to answer, and seeing how it is Undead April here at CrimeHQ, there is no time like the present.
There are several tools available—ranging from Internet quizzes to survival guides—that can help you assess your zombie knowledge and preparedness level. The important thing to remember is that if your dear friend or family member has already become a zombie, they are lost and you must take steps to defend yourself.
Let’s get started with this not so helpful instructional video that suggests zombies can be our friends. This type of thinking can be dangerous.
The fatal fallacy in the “zombies can be your friends” theory can be seen in this quote from the video: “The typical zombie only thinks about brain eating fifty-two percent of the time.” This statistic is supposed to reassure us, but I value my brain. Fifty-two percent is fifty-two percent too much, in my opinion.
Knowing your enemy can be the difference between life and death. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (yes, the CDC) has developed a document called, “Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic” which follows a family—Todd, Julie and their dog, Max—as a disease begins turning people into zombies. (Of course, the guide also gives practical information that could be used in the event of non-zombie pandemic.) The CDC even has a blog outlining pre-zombie apocalypse preparation and offers downloadable Zombie preparedness posters. Although, if a zombie attacks you, I don’t think a poster will help much, even if you roll it up.
The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks promises “Complete Protection from the Living Dead.” It helps you understand the nature of the zombie virus, along with weapons and combat techniques that will help you defend your life and your home. Deploying these techniques can ensure a much higher human to zombie ratio after the battle begins.
Once you’ve finished digesting all of this information, then and only then will you be ready to test your overall knowledge. You can take the quiz from the Science Channel to see how much life saving information you’ve retained. (Make sure you know the main ingredient for Haitian voodoo powder. It may also help to watch the Wes Craven movie, The Serpent and the Rainbow, before you begin.)
This video suggests one way to pre-empt a zombie attack, although I wouldn’t try it at home.
Not convinced that a zombie apocalypse is even possible? Cracked.com goes through the logic in 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen. This article goes in-depth not only on how certain poisons can turn people into zombies but also outlines brain experiments going on around the world. You may find their discoveries surprising.
And that, my friends, is my compilation of zombie apocalypse preparation resources. But one can never be too ready; please share your favorite zombie survival tips below.
Now is not the time to be shy. We can all use the help we can get!
Deborah Lacy is an avid mystery reader and aspiring novelist. She has spent too much time preparing for the zombie apocalypse. You can follow her on twitter @quippy.
Check out all of Deborah Lacy’s Criminal Element posts.