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Showing posts by: Teddy Pierson click to see Teddy Pierson's profile
Fri
Jan 13 2017 11:01am

Man Spends 3 Days in Jail for Kitty Litter

This week, the tables are turned in the world of perp derp. Police mistook some poor guys's cat litter for meth during a traffic stop.

According to WSB-TV, Ross LeBeau was pulled over when he made a right-hand turn without stopping in Houston, Texas. During the stop, LeBeau admitted he was carrying a small amount of marijuana. His honesty prompted the officers to search his car, which resulted in a much larger find: 252 grams of meth—or so they thought.

The truth is, LeBeau didn’t have any meth at all. Further testing of the substance at the their local Institute of Forensic Science revealed that it was merely your every day kitty litter.

To make matters worse, at the time of arrest, the police boasted that this was yet “another example how a routine traffic stop turned into a significant narcotics arrest in our community and may have kept our children and loved ones free from being introduced to drugs.”

How the hell did the police drop this big of a ball? Really lousy police work coupled with bad field testing technology. But come on now, it was kitty litter!

Unfortunately for Lebeau, he spent three long days in jail despite explaining over and over that it was his father who filled up a sock with the kitty litter in his car to keep the windows from becoming foggy—a trick he learned on the site LifeHacker.com.

Fri
Jan 6 2017 11:00am

Teen Takes Cop Car on New Years Eve Joyride

We are kicking off 2017 with a teenager who went full boss on police by stealing a cop cruiser after being arrested for drinking while driving.

Here is the breakdown on this one: According to CBS, Dekota Locklear, 18, was stopped at a New Years Eve drunk driving checkpoint. The breathalyzer test displayed that he registered a 0.09 blood-alcohol level—the limit for drivers is 0.08.

This is where things get interesting. After being arrested, handcuffed, and put in the backseat of a squad car, Locklear managed to wiggle his way into the front seat of the cruiser and put the pedal to the metal. He took off like a bat out of hell and went for a joy ride that lasted 90 minutes before finally being re-arrested in the Bronx.

When all was said and done, Locklear took the cruiser on 13-mile joyride through New York City and even turned on the lights and siren. Police are still puzzled on how the teenager was able to pull off this feat with his hands securely handcuffed behind his back.

He was later charged with attempted grand larceny, criminal mischief, aggravated drunk driving, escape and reckless endangerment, and assault of a police officer.

So, how did you spend your New Years Eve?

Fri
Dec 16 2016 11:00am

Dumb Thief Busted During Shop-with-a-Cop Event

Looks like we have a perp derp who was trying to get into the Christmas spirit... While police were shopping with kids at a local Wal-Mart during a community event dubbed shop-with-a-cop, a man attempting to steal a 58-inch TV from the same store.

According to the folks at CBS 6, James Walsh was spotted on surveillance with the TV in his cart, but when he tried to nonchalantly walk out without swiping his credit card, the store's “asset protection officer” attempted to foil his plan.

However, in a moment of brilliance, police said Walsh ran back inside, only to leave again out of a different exit. I cannot imagine why.

Remember when I said there was a police event at this particular Wal-Mart? Well, they noticed what was happening and swooped in to bust Walsh without much effort.

It looks like little Johnny will not be getting that TV he wanted for Christmas.

Fri
Dec 9 2016 11:00am

Robber Gets Wedged in Air Duct

This week's perp derp found himself in a real tight spot. A man was arrested after getting wedged in an air duct while attempting to rob a pizza joint in New York.

According to UPI, David Reed—the owner of a business located next to the pizza shop—was in a festive mood hanging up Christmas lights when he heard someone caroling frantically. Okay, maybe caroling isn't the right word—it was more of a screaming for someone to help him get out.

Reed responded to the screams by asking, “Where are you?” And with answers as good as ideas, the perp yelled again: “Get me out of here!”

After calling the local authorities, the deputies who were dispatched found 53-year-old Richard Graham stuck in an air vent directly above a pizza oven. It took the Fire Department about 20 minutes to cut Graham out of the vent. Embarrassing, I am sure.

Graham was transported to the local hospital for a some minor injuries where he was treated and released. He was arraigned on charges of 3rd degree burglary, 2nd degree criminal mischief, and possession of burglary tools. He also caused more than $2,000 in damages to the pizzeria.

Weird. Now I'm hungry for a slice...

Fri
Dec 2 2016 11:00am

Fleeing Robber to Police: He Went Thatta Way!

A man was arrested over the weekend after attempting to rob a Family Dollar store and pretending to be the 4th member of the Three Stooges.

According to UPI, the suspect—Sean Torres, 29—had a shirt wrapped around his head when he strolled into the Family Dollar and demanded money from the store clerk. When the clerk did not comply to Torres's demands, he threatened to shoot up the joint, but then ran away without any money.

A police chopper was dispatched and spotted Torres at the edge of a nearby pond in an effort to get away from police on the ground. However, as they closed in on Torres, deputies said the man tried to hide by submerging himself. The chopper had no problems still seeing him.

Here is the funny part: When the police on the ground caught up to Torres, he tried explaining that he was 'just fishing' and that his fishing pole was sunk in the water.” He also went on to say, “the guy who did it went that way."

Torres realized his plan was a washout an surrendered, saying he didn't want to be bit by a police dog. Smart guy!

The ordeal was not over. Torres, while in the back of the cop car, he repeatedly screamed and thrashed himself around, kicking the doors, and ultimately damaging the car. Torres was booked on armed robbery and criminal mischief charges.

Check out the video of the chase:

Fri
Nov 18 2016 10:00am

Man Guzzles Body Spray to Avoid DUI (and Fails)

A man who was pulled over for drinking while driving sprayed AXE body spray in his mouth in an effort to conceal the smell of booze on his breath.

According to KPTV, police say that Patrick David Butler, 45, was pulled over because officers witnessed him swerving his vehicle to avoid hitting a curb and crossing the center line multiple times.

When officers pulled him over, they said they saw Butler "actively spraying AXE body spray into this mouth.” Okay, then…

Officers then asked Butler what the hell he was doing with that spray? Butler responded with the perfect advertising pitch: “I’m spraying myself from head to toe.”

So why was Butler so quick to drink the body spray? Well, he told officers that he had just got back from downing a couple beers and a shot of Jack Daniels while watching some football.

He was given multiple field sobriety tests before being arrested. Rumor has it, he was the best smelling guy in jail that night.

Fri
Nov 11 2016 10:00am

Drunk Man Calls 911 Repeatedly

We've all wanted answers to life's many mysteries, right? Of course. Though most of us do not call 911 to get the answers like one man did.

Police from South Carolina tossed a man in jail after he called 911 multiple times and asked the dispatchers some bizarre questions.

According to The Herald, John Dargan Barron, 69, started a series of calls to 911 just after 11 p.m. last week, asking the dispatcher this question: “How many legs does an octopus have?” As you can see, he had some serious questions that needed answers.

When officers arrived at his home, they found Barron wasted and warned him to stop calling 911 unless it was for a real emergency.

But it turned out Barron had yet another important question on his mind. About 30 minutes later, officers were again dispatched to Barron’s home when he called 911 and asked “if the Russian alphabet was the same as the English alphabet.” When officers arrived at Barron’s home the second time, he was not wearing any pants. After a few words and help from the officers, Barron was ready to take a car ride downtown.

Officers then said that Barron turned verbally abusive and even tried passive resistance before refusing to get in the back of a police car. When the officers took Barron to police headquarters, he refused to get out of the car, telling officers he was stuck in the backseat.

At the end of his adventure, Barron was charged with violation of the 911 statute and resisting police.

Fri
Nov 4 2016 10:00am

Topless Selfie Causes Woman to Crash into Cop Car

A college student learned one of the most valuable lessons: never send topless selfies while driving.

According to Fox 8, police say Miranda Kay Rader, 20, was snapping a Snapchat photo for her boyfriend directly before slamming her SUV into the back of a parked Texas police cruiser. Police Officer John Sartell stated in his report that he was responding to a disturbance call while his car was parked on the side of the street, minding its own business, with the lights activated.

“I heard the sound of a vehicle braking hard and heard what sounded like a vehicle collision,” Sartell said in his report. When he approached the vehicle, he saw Rader trying to put her blouse on. Unfortunately, luck was not on her side—because he also noticed there was an open bottle of wine in her cup holder. Doubled busted!

At the end of this ordeal, she was cited for being a minor in possession of alcohol and charged with driving while intoxicated with an open container. Class dismissed.

Fri
Oct 28 2016 10:00am

Man Tries to Steal Blinds in Hilarious Heist

Image provided by Northamptonshire Police

Okay, this week’s perp derp had me laughing the moment I saw the story. Police in England are on the lookout for a man who was filmed escaping a store with a rather large Venetian blind shoved down his pants.

According to Sky News, the Northamptonshire Police released the bizzare image that shows the suspect in an elevator trying his best to act cool and hide the massive 7-foot blind between his pants and hoodie.

It is no surprise that the thief attracted pretty much everyone's attention. The crafty bandit was even noticed by the store’s staff, who tried to follow him, but he was too slick for them and fled the scene before ditching the blinds.

He is still at large, and I can only assume police are looking for someone whose house is in need of 7-foot blinds. 

Fri
Oct 21 2016 10:00am

Man Attempts to Trade Weed for a Snowmobile

Many say that using Craigslist is risky business. A man from Oregon learned that the hard way when he tried to trade marijuana for a snowmobile.

Here is what went down: According to KATU, police say that Jason Owen, 29, was looking to get a snowmobile on Craigslist and found one he really liked. Owen then asked the owner of the snowmobile if he would consider a pound of marijuana as an even trade for the snowmobile. Little did Own know, the owner of the snowmobile just happened to be a State Trooper. Whoopsie!

The trooper then called in his supervisor and agreed to meet Owen at a local gas station for the trade. At the gas station, the trooper identified himself and dropped the knowledge that he was committing a crime. Police found one and a half pounds of marijuana on him that he was going to use for the trade.

Owen was cited on possession and delivery of marijuana. He was released at the scene.