<i>Murderous Mayhem at Honeychurch Hall</i>: New Excerpt Murderous Mayhem at Honeychurch Hall: New Excerpt Hannah Dennison The 4th book in the Honeychurch Hall series. <i>Proving Ground</i>: New Excerpt Proving Ground: New Excerpt Peter Blauner A sweeping crime novel, an intricate story about the quest for redemption, and a vibrant portrait of contemporary NYC. Review: <i>Fogged Inn</i> by Barbara Ross Review: Fogged Inn by Barbara Ross Doreen Sheridan Doreen Sheridan cooks the books with this Agatha review! Review: <i>Before the Fall</i> by Noah Hawley Review: Before the Fall by Noah Hawley Deborah Lacy Read Deborah Lacy's review!
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Showing posts by: Teddy Pierson click to see Teddy Pierson's profile
Fri
Apr 21 2017 11:00am

Home Invader Cooks Himself Chicken

Would you mind coming home to a fully cooked chicken dinner? Would you feel the same if the person who cooked it was a bugler who broke into your house? Enter this week's perp derp...

According to FOX, a Florida woman returned home to find a strange man in her home frying up some succulent chicken and sipping on some vodka—her vodka. Welcome home, Lucy!!

As you might have guessed, the woman freaked out and jumped on the phone to call the police. The local police arrived on the scene and arrested Ronald G. Wesly, 34, and charged him with burglary.

Wesly allegedly went into the woman’s home after she left for work and must have been having so much fun that he did not realize how long he was there.

Okay, I am now in the mood for some fried chicken. Who wants to join me?

Fri
Apr 14 2017 11:03am

Phone Thief Runs Directly Into Police

Instant karma and instant regret all in about 15 seconds—this was the fate of the perp derp in this installment of Just Plain Stupid

According to UPI, a street thief in China who snatched a woman’s phone was captured only seconds after the cellphone jacking when the man realized his getaway route ran him right into a police station. It seems the thief was totally clueless of the surroundings and did not notice that the precinct’s parking was directly in his path. D'oh!

Luckily for us, there was a surveillance camera rolling (see below), and it shows the entire incident. The victim tried to follow the man but tripped and fell. Thankfully, she was unhurt in the tumble and also got her phone back.

[Watch the video below!]

Fri
Apr 7 2017 11:00am

Thieves Busted After Driving Stolen SUV to Courthouse

Criminals are often classified as not having good common sense. Well, it's clear that this week's perp derps have no common sense at all.

According to KRQE,  the pair of car thieves found themselves arrested after the LoJack system in the stolen SUV they were driving alerted police to their location. Here is the kicker: that location happened to be the courthouse where they were picking up ankle monitors from a previous kidnapping arrest.

Police were dumbfounded but quickly found the duo and arrested them at the scene.

Fri
Mar 31 2017 11:00am

Man Faces Charges After Eating Pancakes

Pancakes. I eat them at least once a week. I love them. It turns out this week's perp derp shares my love for the breakfast cake that is shaped like a pan, and he does not care where he consumes them.

According to News 4, a Florida man was charged with traffic obstruction after he was caught eating his hearty breakfast food smack-dab in the middle of a road at a busy intersection. As you might have guessed, it did not take long for the police to show up on the scene, but sadly, the suspect was nowhere to be found. He left no trace, not even a syrup trail. However, two days later, the photo and video of the individual eating pancakes was being shared around Facebook.

After the photo and video landed on Facebook, the local police did some detective work and figured out who the pancake-lovin’ man was and where he lived. It seems the guy lived only 100 yards away from the intersection where he had the most important meal of the day.

When police confronted the man, he said that it was just a silly prank and he did it for the lulz (aka laughs). The police were not laughing and slapped him with an order to show up in court.

Sat
Mar 25 2017 11:03am
Original Story

Man Impersonates Cop, Accidentally Drunk, Thief Stuck in Window, and more: The Bullet List

Teddy Pierson
Fri
Mar 24 2017 11:00am
Original Story

Family Comes Home to Find Naked Woman on Couch

Teddy Pierson

When I come home after a long day of work, finding a naked woman in my apartment might not sound all that bad. Though that sentiment might not be shared by others—for example: a mother with two little kids.

According to Fox 2, Brianna Willey found a woman just lounging on her couch after arriving home with her kids from being out all day. The woman they found, who was buck naked, said her name was Catherine and she was there for a birthday party.

Willey sprung into mother-mode and quickly ushered her kiddies outside and back into their car. Then, she promptly called the fuzz. Meanwhile, the naked woman inside the house attempted to put her clothes back on, but in her haste she put them on backwards the first time around. So, she stripped again in front of Willey in order to put them on correctly. I can only imagine what was going on in Willey's mind.

The police showed up and arrested the woman, who later told reporters that she was “highly intoxicated.” Well, I already figured that! Didn't you while reading this?

Here is the funniest part of this story: Willey's kids apparently cannot stop talking about the “naked lady.”

Fri
Mar 17 2017 11:00am

Tight Pants Leads to Major Coke Bust

This week's Perp Derp enjoys wearing tight pants when he travels. I tend to sway more towards comfort, but I'm not trying to smuggle 10 pounds of coke either.

According to CBS, Juan Carlos Galan Luperon, an American citizen, landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport from the Dominican Republic sporting extremely tight clothes and acting particularly nervous. His flair for fashion, bulging legs, and suspicious demeanor caught the eyes of many people at the airport, especially the customs officers. 

Luperon was pulled aside and brought to a private screening room for questioning. This is when officers found a whopping $164,000 worth of cocaine strapped to his legs. 

Luperon was arrested on federal narcotics smuggling charges. I am pretty sure the fashion police gave him a few citations, too.

Fri
Mar 10 2017 12:00pm

Fugitive Caught Because He Was a Litterbug

Sometimes a man is just destined to be in jail. Let me introduce you to one of those men: meet Travis Pratt from Virginia. Already in police custody, he allegedly broke out of jail, stole someone's pickup truck, stopped for some beers, and then proceeded onward and upward. Then, in what seemed an attempt to break as many laws as he could, Pratt added littering to his laundry list of illegal activity, tossing his empty brewskies out the window as he drove.

According to ABC7, unlike a newlywed couple headed off to honeymoon bliss, his trail of empty cans quickly became the breadcrumbs police needed to follow to find where Pratt was hiding. He was quickly put back in custody and is now facing charges for destruction of property, felony escaping, resisting arrest, and theft. But what a day of freedom he must've had!

Fri
Mar 3 2017 12:00pm

Man Snapchats the Fire He Started

A man in Florida was recently arrested in connection with a fire that torched a country clubhouse. But this wouldn't be Perp Derp if that was whole story—the arsonist used the social media app Snapchat to film and share his pyrotechnic adventures. 

According to the Palm Beach Post, Anthony Stowers allegedly sent his arson footage via Snapchat to a bunch of his friends, expressing that he was not pleased with how the clubhouse has been maintained lately. He said in the video post, “You know what? Y’all gonna see a structure fire tonight. I hope you all enjoy.” In a response to one of his friends, Stowers said he blacked out after drinking an entire bottle of rum and claimed he did not remembering starting the blaze.

In the end, Stowers admitted that he started the fire but was unsure about the details of that night. He also said that he doesn’t remember how he started the fire, but admitted that he always has a lighter on him.

I doubt the police believe this story. Do you?

Fri
Feb 24 2017 12:00pm

Prostitute Behind Bars After Offering Sex for Tacos

I felt like keeping the taco truck rolling with yet another taco-related tale for you this week.

According to the folks over at KJRH 2, a prostitute—Buffy Suzanne Bryan, 47—was arrested after offering to give a man oral sex in exchange for ... two soft tacos from the ultra high-end Taco Bell restaurant. Tasty!

This tale turned sour after the request because the man she wanted the tacos from was actually an undercover cop. Whoops! Turns out, the police were conducting a city-wide crackdown on prostitution.

After a brief exchange, she was promptly arrested for soliciting sex to an undercover police officer.

Bryan was only one of five other women who were arrested during the operation. Though, the others asked for more than just $2.14 worth of tacos…

Fri
Feb 17 2017 12:00pm

Boyfriend Shot Over Taco

Never mess with a woman’s taco...

According to ABC7, one couple’s outing to their favorite taco truck got saucy when an altercation broken out over the coldness of a taco that was served.

Allegedly, the woman thought that her taco wasn’t hot enough to satisfy her yearning for the tortilla-wrapped treat. She asked the owner, who served the arctic taco, to reheat it to the glory she felt was deserved. However, the owner flat-out refused her simple request to bring the cold taco to a more palatable temperature.

The woman became extremely displeased at the refusal, and when her boyfriend tried to intervene to calm her down, the situation only got worse — much worse.

At this point, she finally had enough and pulled out a gun she was carrying. This resulted in a scuffle between the boyfriend and the woman, and the gun went off, striking the boyfriend. Police showed up, but they could not confirm if she meant to shoot him or if the gun simply went off accidentally.

The case is still pending and the taco remains cold.

Fri
Feb 10 2017 1:00pm

Burglar Gets Jammed in Chimney

Christmas might be over, but that is not stopping a burglar from using a chimney to enter homes. The only difference: Santa wasn't trying to rob you. He is also much better at chimney diving.

According to KUTV, Keith Schultz, 28, attempted to burglarize a home in California but snagged himself in the chimney while trying to break in. The local police were responding to a home alarm when they also received a call about someone needing help getting out of a chimney at the same location.

When police investigated the home, they found Schultz trapped in the chimney. He was shortly liberated from Santa's version of hell and arrested. Police surmise that Schultz tried to break into the house via the chimney, but when he got stuck, his friend attempted to get him out, which triggered the alarm system.

Schultz was arrested on first-degree burglary charges.