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Showing posts by: Teddy Pierson click to see Teddy Pierson's profile
Fri
Feb 24 2017 11:00am

Prostitute Behind Bars After Offering Sex for Tacos

I felt like keeping the taco truck rolling with yet another taco-related tale for you this week.

According to the folks over at KJRH 2, a prostitute—Buffy Suzanne Bryan, 47—was arrested after offering to give a man oral sex in exchange for ... two soft tacos from the ultra high-end Taco Bell restaurant. Tasty!

This tale turned sour after the request because the man she wanted the tacos from was actually an undercover cop. Whoops! Turns out, the police were conducting a city-wide crackdown on prostitution.

After a brief exchange, she was promptly arrested for soliciting sex to an undercover police officer.

Bryan was only one of five other women who were arrested during the operation. Though, the others asked for more than just $2.14 worth of tacos…

Fri
Feb 17 2017 11:00am

Boyfriend Shot Over Taco

Never mess with a woman’s taco...

According to ABC7, one couple’s outing to their favorite taco truck got saucy when an altercation broken out over the coldness of a taco that was served.

Allegedly, the woman thought that her taco wasn’t hot enough to satisfy her yearning for the tortilla-wrapped treat. She asked the owner, who served the arctic taco, to reheat it to the glory she felt was deserved. However, the owner flat-out refused her simple request to bring the cold taco to a more palatable temperature.

The woman became extremely displeased at the refusal, and when her boyfriend tried to intervene to calm her down, the situation only got worse — much worse.

At this point, she finally had enough and pulled out a gun she was carrying. This resulted in a scuffle between the boyfriend and the woman, and the gun went off, striking the boyfriend. Police showed up, but they could not confirm if she meant to shoot him or if the gun simply went off accidentally.

The case is still pending and the taco remains cold.

Fri
Feb 10 2017 12:00pm

Burglar Gets Jammed in Chimney

Christmas might be over, but that is not stopping a burglar from using a chimney to enter homes. The only difference: Santa wasn't trying to rob you. He is also much better at chimney diving.

According to KUTV, Keith Schultz, 28, attempted to burglarize a home in California but snagged himself in the chimney while trying to break in. The local police were responding to a home alarm when they also received a call about someone needing help getting out of a chimney at the same location.

When police investigated the home, they found Schultz trapped in the chimney. He was shortly liberated from Santa's version of hell and arrested. Police surmise that Schultz tried to break into the house via the chimney, but when he got stuck, his friend attempted to get him out, which triggered the alarm system.

Schultz was arrested on first-degree burglary charges.

Fri
Feb 3 2017 11:01am

Drunk Man Arrested After 911 Butt-Dial

It's stories like these that always make me shake my head with joyful disappointment. According to CBC News, a man with an outstanding warrant got so wasted that he butt-dialed police, resulting in his arrest. Smooth!

After the 911 butt-dial, police went to the residence where the call originated from. There, they found a 37-year-old drunk man who also happened to have an outstanding warrant for his arrest with a release condition that he abstain from alcohol. It seems his abstaining skills were a bit lacking. The man was quickly arrested.

The police officers who arrested the man said that he just “called 911 for no apparent reason other than he was intoxicated.”

Seems like a good reason...

Fri
Jan 27 2017 11:00am

Woman Prints Her Own Money, Gets Arrested

A Florida (of course) woman learned a valuable lesson—a lesson I thought no one needed to be taught. Brandi Harden, 30, was arrested after she attempted to use printer paper photocopies of $20 bills. She printed a big stack of them and painted the town red (not really)!

According to the Gainesville Sun, Harden went to her local Walmart and handed the cashier a wad of fake bills to purchase a few items she had in her shopping cart. When the Walmart employee questioned Harden about the clearly funny-money, she hightailed it out of the store. She was ultimately caught by the police two days later after she attempted to use another stack of printed money to pay for her bill at an Applebee’s. The kicker? She left her cellphone on the table and was easily tracked down.

Police questioned Harden at a hotel she was staying, where she fessed up to using the printed money. Officers also found even more fake bills, blank printer paper, and the printer.

She was quickly arrested and charged with possession of counterfeit bills. And, as luck would have it, she also also had marijuana and faces charges of possession, too. 

Fri
Jan 20 2017 11:09am

Kid Pulls Gun on Girl for Her Nuggets

Chicken nuggets are good. Chicken nuggets are tasty. Chicken nuggets sustain life. They also seem to turn little kids into armor robbers.

According to NBC, a 12-year-old male student allegedly pulled out a gun on a classmate and demanded her chicken nuggets. Yes, you read that correctly. And apparently this was his second attempt at obtaining a nugget from the girl after she had refused to give up her golden treat.

The young lad apparently followed her into a train station, then promptly pulled out the gun from his pocket and pointed it at her head and demanded a McNugget again. The girl was not going to give up her little delicious treat, so she swatted the gun and told the boy to leave her and her nugget alone. Daaamn—nothing will get in the way of this girl and her nuggets!

After the smack-down, she just hopped on the train like nothing had happened and went on her merry way with all her nuggets still in tow. She also told authorities what went down.

The boy was later picked up by Police and taken into custody—nuggetless.

Fri
Jan 13 2017 11:01am

Man Spends 3 Days in Jail for Kitty Litter

This week, the tables are turned in the world of perp derp. Police mistook some poor guys's cat litter for meth during a traffic stop.

According to WSB-TV, Ross LeBeau was pulled over when he made a right-hand turn without stopping in Houston, Texas. During the stop, LeBeau admitted he was carrying a small amount of marijuana. His honesty prompted the officers to search his car, which resulted in a much larger find: 252 grams of meth—or so they thought.

The truth is, LeBeau didn’t have any meth at all. Further testing of the substance at the their local Institute of Forensic Science revealed that it was merely your every day kitty litter.

To make matters worse, at the time of arrest, the police boasted that this was yet “another example how a routine traffic stop turned into a significant narcotics arrest in our community and may have kept our children and loved ones free from being introduced to drugs.”

How the hell did the police drop this big of a ball? Really lousy police work coupled with bad field testing technology. But come on now, it was kitty litter!

Unfortunately for Lebeau, he spent three long days in jail despite explaining over and over that it was his father who filled up a sock with the kitty litter in his car to keep the windows from becoming foggy—a trick he learned on the site LifeHacker.com.

Fri
Jan 6 2017 11:00am

Teen Takes Cop Car on New Years Eve Joyride

We are kicking off 2017 with a teenager who went full boss on police by stealing a cop cruiser after being arrested for drinking while driving.

Here is the breakdown on this one: According to CBS, Dekota Locklear, 18, was stopped at a New Years Eve drunk driving checkpoint. The breathalyzer test displayed that he registered a 0.09 blood-alcohol level—the limit for drivers is 0.08.

This is where things get interesting. After being arrested, handcuffed, and put in the backseat of a squad car, Locklear managed to wiggle his way into the front seat of the cruiser and put the pedal to the metal. He took off like a bat out of hell and went for a joy ride that lasted 90 minutes before finally being re-arrested in the Bronx.

When all was said and done, Locklear took the cruiser on 13-mile joyride through New York City and even turned on the lights and siren. Police are still puzzled on how the teenager was able to pull off this feat with his hands securely handcuffed behind his back.

He was later charged with attempted grand larceny, criminal mischief, aggravated drunk driving, escape and reckless endangerment, and assault of a police officer.

So, how did you spend your New Years Eve?

Fri
Dec 16 2016 11:00am

Dumb Thief Busted During Shop-with-a-Cop Event

Looks like we have a perp derp who was trying to get into the Christmas spirit... While police were shopping with kids at a local Wal-Mart during a community event dubbed shop-with-a-cop, a man attempting to steal a 58-inch TV from the same store.

According to the folks at CBS 6, James Walsh was spotted on surveillance with the TV in his cart, but when he tried to nonchalantly walk out without swiping his credit card, the store's “asset protection officer” attempted to foil his plan.

However, in a moment of brilliance, police said Walsh ran back inside, only to leave again out of a different exit. I cannot imagine why.

Remember when I said there was a police event at this particular Wal-Mart? Well, they noticed what was happening and swooped in to bust Walsh without much effort.

It looks like little Johnny will not be getting that TV he wanted for Christmas.

Fri
Dec 9 2016 11:00am

Robber Gets Wedged in Air Duct

This week's perp derp found himself in a real tight spot. A man was arrested after getting wedged in an air duct while attempting to rob a pizza joint in New York.

According to UPI, David Reed—the owner of a business located next to the pizza shop—was in a festive mood hanging up Christmas lights when he heard someone caroling frantically. Okay, maybe caroling isn't the right word—it was more of a screaming for someone to help him get out.

Reed responded to the screams by asking, “Where are you?” And with answers as good as ideas, the perp yelled again: “Get me out of here!”

After calling the local authorities, the deputies who were dispatched found 53-year-old Richard Graham stuck in an air vent directly above a pizza oven. It took the Fire Department about 20 minutes to cut Graham out of the vent. Embarrassing, I am sure.

Graham was transported to the local hospital for a some minor injuries where he was treated and released. He was arraigned on charges of 3rd degree burglary, 2nd degree criminal mischief, and possession of burglary tools. He also caused more than $2,000 in damages to the pizzeria.

Weird. Now I'm hungry for a slice...