There are certain rules that will forever govern Game of Thrones: Tyrion will drink a lot of wine, Daenerys will burn slavers alive, the Lannisters will always pay their debts, and the 9th episode of each season will leave you scarred and unable to sleep. The aptly titled “Battle of the Bastards” was as brutal as it was promised, but it left us in unfamiliar waters. In short, THE GOOD GUYS WON!
As we drew closer and closer to this inevitable battle, we grew ready for some sort of loss. After Ned’s beheading, Robb’s wedding, and Oberyn’s showboating, loss seemed like an ingrained element of Game of Thrones' penultimate episodes. So, even though we may have assumed that Jon Snow would be the victorious bastard, we still expected to lose a few dear friends along the way.
Sure, Rickon died, but he did so in the same way he lived: insignificantly. Other than that though, Team Stark came out relatively unscathed, with both Davos and Tormund surviving the fight. And, not only that, but we also saw Tormund channel his inner Rick Grimes and literally bite through a guy’s neck. Plus, Ramsay learned just how accurate the Nine Inch Nails can be when his hounds bit off the literal hands that fed them.
All in all, “Battle of the Bastards” was a thrilling, unnerving, and ultimately rewarding episode, but it took quite a bit of gruesome time before we were able to hang the Stark banners. This episode marked the first time we saw a fully-planned medieval pitch battle on screen, and it’s one we certainly won’t forget soon.
[Let’s get to the riser…]