This Sunday marks the return of AMC’s The Walking Dead, are you game? Need to catch up? No problem, check out Regina Thorne’s recaps here on Criminal Element.

Even if you’re not waiting for the show to return, you have to love apologetic Daryl, he is awfully sorry for messing up the carpet after all.

Anyone else miss the good ol’ days of Americans squaring off with Communists? I mean where’s Rocky beating the crap out of Ivan Drago? Where’s the good feeling of watching Patrick Swayze shout “WOLVERINES!” while blowing up a Soviet tank? Well, we won the Cold War, though it may be a bittersweet victory. Yeah, we don’t have to worry about mutually assured destruction, but we also don’t really have a bad guy anymore. But you can’t keep a good villain down.

This week marked the beginning of a new FX show starring Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys called The Americans. Keri and Matthew play Soviet spies implanted in 1980s America. The first episode wasn’t bad, and I recommend checking it out if you have a chance. Above is the trailer, what do you think? Did you watch the first episode?

We all know the line right? You know the one, say it with me, loud and proud. “Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die.” And if you don’t happen to know that line, then you should go and find a copy of The Princess Bride right now. Stop reading and find this movie. Not only does it have pirates, wrestling, fencing, rescues, escapes, et. al., but it has Peter Falk as the world’s greatest Grandpa. Anyway, I’m getting distracted. So what happens when you wear this quote on a plane? You get accused of terrorism.

Wynand Mullins of Sydney, thinking that it was nothing more than a silly quote from a good movie, wore the line proudly on his t-shirt. He was then approached by a flight attendant who said that people were intimidated by it. Meanwhile, the person sitting next to him found the whole affair pretty funny. Mr. Mullins admitted to not having another shirt freely available and hoped to get a pilot’s shirt, just to see how everyone reacted. The flight attendant left and didn’t make contact with him for the rest of the flight. I mean, it could have been worse, he could have been a Sicilian, and we all know what happens when you mess with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

What happens when you have MI-5’s Matthew Macfadyen and Jerome Flynn from Game of Thrones together in a BBC original police procedural? Why Ripper Street of course. Here’s the official synopsis:

Haunted by the failure to catch London’s most evil killer, Inspector Edmund Reid (Matthew Macfadyen) now heads up the notorious H Division, the toughest district in London’s East End. Charged with keeping order in the chaotic streets of Whitechapel, Inspector Reid is soon drawn deep into the seedy criminal underworld of Victorian London—where fear always lurks that each new murder could mark the return of The Ripper.

What do you say, are you in?

To say that all of us here at Crime HQ are fans of British television would be a bit of an understatement. Not only do we keep track of all the best shows they are not showing in America (get on that BBC!) but we have one or two particular favorites that we pay special attention to. We’ve also mentioned before that there is a whole slew of things out there on the Internet that are free to watch and pretty awesome. So, what do you get when you combine free TV with British television? The Hulu series Spy.

Spy is about a poor guy who likes Sudoku and has a dead end job. He desperately wants the approval of his hyper-intelligent son, whom he won sole custody of in a rather nasty divorce. So what’s he do? He quits his job at some generic version of Best Buy and goes out into the world, looking for something better. What he accidentally finds is a position with MI-5.

The show is a lot of fun and well worth the watch; it stars Darren Boyd and Robert Lindsay.

Don’t believe me, check it out for yourself online. Or you can tease yourself with the clip and trailer below.

What don’t you expect from the New Year? Probably many things, but I bet that “Getting Mugged by Oompa Loompas” is somewhere on that list. Yet as a man in England found out, you should always expect the Spanish Inquisition Oompa Loompas!

A 28-year-old man from Norfolk, England, was recently assaulted by two orange-skinned Oompa Loompas. How do you know they were Oompa Loompas and not just little people who had too much carotene you ask? Why because they were in costume of course. That’s right. Two individuals took the time to paint their faces, put on green wigs, and also dressed up in “hooped tops.” To be fair though, the Oompa Loompas did have two accomplices, a man and a woman. No word yet as to whether the man was wearing a purple felt coat.

Hat Tip: Huffington Post

What do you get when you cross Hot Wheels, computers, and a car chase that would make Michael Bay drool? Why, you get the animated-short film The Chase by Philippe Gamer. It has everything, ridiculous chase scenes, gratuitous stretches of imagination, and an absolutely wonderful punch line at the end that makes you miss Bea Arthur a bit. Give it a watch, and be sure to stick around to the end, you won’t be disappointed. Also, beware of the slightly strong language.

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Today is the end of the world. Maybe. We will just pretend, okay? What better way to celebrate said end than with a movie?! So in honor of humanity’s impending doom, here are 38 ways that Hollywood has predicted our end. Enjoy.

Or maybe we’d all just be better off not worrying about the end and just enjoying our favorite thrillers while eagerly anticipating the holiday break from work? That could just us here at Crime HQ though.

Have you ever found yourself wondering who would win in a battle of rhymes between two of the world’s greatest detectives? Well great news, or not (depending on how you answered that question), I have the perfect video for you. Not only does it have Sherlock throwing down with Batman, but it also has a nice “amen-ing” from the sidekicks, be they Boy Wonder or good Doctor. However, you should be warned that the language isn’t for the faint of heart.

Another one worth mentioning is the showdown of Clint Eastwood and Bruce Lee.

I don’t know about you guys, but recently my Facebook timeline has been swamped with statuses like the one in the above video. Now, you may not even be in on the Facebook craze, but I’ve been a part of The Book since my college days, and, yes, I did agree to the Terms of Service without reading them. I’ve nothing that I care deeply about on the Internet anyway. I also have a very basic understanding of how law works. I’ve seen that School House Rock episode, unlike a lot of my contemporaries it would seem.

Sit back, enjoy the funny, and know that this has to be explained. Like Spinal Tap to Heavy Metal rockers, this may hit a little too close to home for some.

Oh Yakov Smirnoff, are you ever not relevant? 1980s stand-up comics aside, apparently the village of Novo Biryuzyak in Dagestan, Russia, is home to one of the toughest grannies this side of Siberia.

Aishat Maksudova was tending her cattle and sheep when a wolf decided to have himself a tasty snack. Not willing to take crap from a predator who has been hunting both animal and man for quite some time now, the 56-year-old grandma pulled a captured calf from the vile clutches of the wolf.

Now this came as a bit of a surprise to the wolf, who then decided that the pink fleshy thing needed to learn proper respect for wolf-kind and took a nice healthy bite out of Aishat’s hand. When asked about the event, the woman said, “With an open mouth, the wolf suddenly jumped on me, the wolf clawed into my leg and when I raised my arm up the wolf was just holding my hand; trying to claw my hand.”

According to reports, Aishat wanted to just throttle the wolf to death, but was, ahem, forced to reach for her ax when she was unable to pry off the animal’s teeth. This is one badass babushka.

So to sum up, a grandma stared down a predator that has been haunting humans since we domesticated our food, said the Russian equivalent of “So what?,” and then, not being able to beat the thing to death with her bare hands like she wanted, she axed it to death while it was trying to literally bite off a piece of her. As I have said before, one is never too old to be awesome.

I lift my glass to you Aishat, you complete badass.

Hat tip: Metro UK

We readers are well aware that there are tremendous creative works out there beyond those being put out by major companies. Creators and their audiences are not quite as bound by the editors, producers, studio execs, publishers, et. al. as they were, say, ten years ago. As Dylan put it: the times they are a-changin’.

Just as there are indie movies, self-published books, and “kickstarted” music albums, there is a whole world of free TV waiting for an audience. We’ve covered Tom Hanks’s sci-fi/noir Electric City, and the Harry Potter procedural Auror’s Tale but those are only two examples of what is available on this wonderful system of tubes.

If fan-fiction-turned-crime-drama is your thing, then you should definitely investigate Mortal Kombat: Legacy. Director Kevin Tancharoen used the video game Mortal Kombat as the basis for a realistic version of the fantasy story featuring magic ninjas and secret agents. Sure, it can be a bit of a high concept thriller, but if you are a fan of old school kung fu movies and more modern action movies (and we certainly are) you should definitely give it a look. It grew out of Tancharoen’s earlier short video Mortal Kombat: Rebirth and led to him being chosen to direct a new full-length Mortal Kombat feature film that’s supposed to have a 2013 release.

Another great show living a vibrant life out on the web is for our zombie fans. It’s called Universal Dead and while it doesn’t have the budget that The Walking Dead does, it still stands out as a great web series. It tells the story of a zombie apocalypse that doesn’t happen due to some unknown plague, but for much more unique and interesting reasons, which I won’t spoil for you. You should really check it out.

If you have 15 to 30 minutes to kill on a lunch break, give some of these a shot, or just look around for something more to your taste. It’s a great time to be a creator, and an even better time to be someone who enjoys just how creative people can be.

What great free TV have you found on the web?

We here at Crime HQ were pretty big fans of The Killing, as well as its Danish inspiration, Forbrydelsen. Well, we are fans of all kinds of crime fiction but that is neither here nor there.

We all were frustrated when we were led astray. We were promised a murder solved by the end of the first season, and we were given nothing. It wasn’t until the close of Season 2 that we finally found out what happened to Rosie. But, by then the show had betrayed the sacred trust. So, The Killing was doomed to cancelled TV obscurity. Until now of course.

AMC is currently in talks with Internet streaming-video service, Netflix to bring The Killing back. Netflix has tested the waters with its own content: the somewhat humorous, American mobster hiding out in Norway story Lilyhammer, so the question is will Netflix be able to bring The Killing back, or is it gone for good? Also, what do you think will be the mystery?

UPDATE: We've learned even more about Season 3 of The Killing, including the reason that the cast may look even grimmer (is that possible?) in upcoming episodes.

It was only a matter of time. First they took the Internet with their antics, worming their way into our hearts and minds. Making fools of themselves for the humans. Lulling us into submission. Now the time has come for their greater plan to unfurl. Beware the Cat Party my friends. Seriously.

Recently, police in Iceland were called to the scene of a raucous house party being thrown by cats. Reports say that residents living around an abandoned house noticed several cats coming and going from the premises. You seriously couldn’t make this up folks. From the news story:

Police arrived at the scene and, entering the house, found no people there. However, two to three cats—the exact number is still unclear—were allegedly occupying the house. According to police reports, the cats were “snuggling” on a couch that had been left behind by the previous residents.

Officers on the scene sprang into action, immediately evicting the cats from the house. They then ensured that all doors and windows into the house were securely closed and locked, in the hopes of preventing an incident of this sort ever happening again.

At this point, we here at Crime HQ in NYC would gladly take squatting cats over Sandy woes any day. That being said, don’t trust those cats. They are just waiting for you to leave so that they can cuddle and carouse. You’ve been warned.

Hat tip Reykjavik Grapevine

Not only do we get a new trailer for the upcoming James Bond film Skyfall, but we also have a new, slightly more in-depth look at Tom Cruise’s take on Jack Reacher. Giveth and taketh and all that, I suppose.

On one hand, Skyfall is looking like everything I’ve come to want from Daniel Craig’s James Bond. Not only is Bond getting his Walther PPK back, but we get to see him bail out M and smart off to Q, and look really good in a suit while a train falls apart. What more could you honestly want from the man?

Meanwhile, in not-quite-our-Reacher land, we get to see a little bit more about the plot of the film and a little bit of background info as to what a Reacher actually is. While we here at Crime HQ still aren’t sold on Tom Cruise being able to pull off the right attitude, the film looks like a pretty decent action film nonetheless. I’m sure if we squint our eyes and don’t think about Reacher too hard, we will all still have a really good time.

What do you think?

It’s that time of year again. The leaves are turning. The wind has just a little bit more bite. And our favorite sheriff is back and fighting zombies in The Walking Dead. This past weekend, New York Comic Con was the scene for all kinds of interesting activities. As you may have heard, Criminal Element was there! We even managed to snag spots at the hour-long panel dedicated to all things Walking Dead.

NOTE: All of our panel pix are slightly awful, as we were too far back with not enough zoom, and the lighting was challenging. But, hey, we were there!

The panel opened with the first few minutes of the season premiere, showing our favorite survivors working, without even needing to speak, as a well-oiled machine in a raid on a house. It was as intense as it was awesome, which you would know if you watched the premiere. (You did, didn’t you? Go, Carl, go!) The prop guys on set warned Andrew Lincoln before filming that there were more zombie kills in this season’s premiere than in all of season 1!

ChrisM is the ultimate TWD fanboy at CrimeHQ. Clare2e isn’t as deep into the franchise, though a horror and zombie fan, natch! So, you’ll get two perspectives (for the price of one, even!) on the hints and implications that will cast shadows across all of season 3.

[Straight from the Walker’s Mouth…]

Why is Bruce Willis smiling you ask? That’s a very easy question to answer. Quite simply he just realized that the new trailer for Die Hard 5, also known as A Good Day to Die Hard is now out in the world for all of us die hard fans (see what I did there?) to enjoy.

That’s right, there’s only so many American terrorists and bank robbers one NYC beat cop can take down. So, being the generous country that America is, we are loaning one of our national treasures, John McClane natch, to Russia.

John is going East, stealing a name borrowing a name from a certain Birthday Boy, and taking on the Reds. I don’t know about you, but I’m in.

You know what makes Bruce Wayne so great? He is a detective first. He never gets in the way of the beat cops and detectives out there making the city of Gotham safer. He uses his many technological toys and inexhaustible wealth to aid in investigations. He catches the crook(s) and then leaves them wrapped up for folks who know where to take it from there. But what if you’re not the World’s Greatest Detective? Well, apparently you just hang around and ignore requests for you to leave.

A 33-year-old Michigan man was trying to be Batman on a budget. Now, we’ve covered some amateur superheroes before here at Criminal Element, but never one who has been arrested because he was trying to do good. When police arrived at the scene of a hit and run, Batman was already on the case!

Batman is never one to flee when there is evil afoot, so even when the police asked that he leave, he said he wanted to look for the driver. Police on the scene had brought a tracking dog, and were concerned that the excess body would screw up the scent trail for the dog so they took The Bat downtown. However, the best part is the quote from one of the troopers on the scene, “We didn’t want the dog to track Batman instead of the accident scene and he was getting in the way of officers who had a job to do.”

Last year the same man was found guilty of attempted resisting and obstructing an officer when he was spotted standing on rooftops while carrying a baton, chemical spray, and sand-filled gloves. Thankfully he was not armed this time. He was sentenced to six months probation during which he is not allowed to wear any costumes.

Bruce Wayne disapproves.

Hat Tip Huffington Post (With More Pics!)

Hi Ho Silver...Away! Okay, now that that is out of my system. Below is the first official trailer for Disney’s The Lone Ranger. I for one am happy to see the heroes of those who came before made into big budget movies, I mean a fella can only take so many Michael Bay Transformer movies before that inner child dies, right?

But in all honesty, it doesn’t look too bad. Now I’m not a Lone Ranger guy, the extent of my Ranger knowledge begins and ends with the summers I spent at my grandfather’s house and all he would watch was the Ranger, Hopalong Cassidy, and Roy Rogers. As a western this all seems pretty rote by now, you have the introduction of the railway, bad guys try to take control of it, hero stops them. The problem I have is that this trailer is almost exclusively Tonto.

I don’t know, I may see it, but then I may try to preserve the memories of little Chris a little longer. I did REALLY like watching those westerns with my grandpa and I’m not all that sure if I’m ready to share that moment with a crow-hat wearing Johnny Depp.

Though I did have a thought: Does this mean we will see a Hopalong Cassidy film next?

What happens when you mix lots of alcohol and nightshade? Why you turn into none other than Captain Jack Sparrow. Well, sort of.

A woman by the name of Alison Whelan recently stole a ferry from a port in England. I mean I can’t think of any way to top off a two-day bender than with a stolen 100-seat ferry, but then that is just me. And Alison of course.

But who amongst us hasn’t gotten too much drink in them and acted the ass? Maybe found a way onto the roof of the English department at your college? No? Okay, but Alison decided that it was a good idea to unmoor the ferry and then drunkenly steer her way through a crowded port while shouting, “I’m Jack Sparrow” and “I’m a pirate.” (Of course you are Alison.) After causing A LOT of property damage, the boat finally came to rest a mile upstream from where she began. As any drunken story goes, Alison inevitably ran afoul of Johnny Law. Turns out that you tend to draw attention when shouting, “I’m a pirate” and playing bumper boats on your local river. She pleaded guilty to “aggravated vehicle theft.”

This all just goes to show you that friends shouldn’t tell friends with drinking problems about Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Hat tip- The Sun