Not every little girl dreams of a prince. Not every little girl plays with Barbie™. And not every dollhouse family is functional. If your dollhouse is a 1:12-scale house of horrors, it's possible that this may be the perfect kitchen table set for you. It's from Caustic Soda on Etsy, and she has a whole lot more grue should you need to deck your dolls' halls with bones of Holly (or anyone else, for that matter).

The 6th annual Bristol UK’s CrimeFest 2013 has come and gone. And a great time was absolutely had by all.

I attended this year, along with some 500 other authors and fans, and it was well worth the time and expense to network with fellow writers and mystery fans throughout the United Kingdom.

The Bristol Marriott Royal, next door to the historic Bristol Cathedral, hosts the conference.    Headliners of this year’s gathering were Robert Goddard, the creators of BBC’s Sherlock series – Mark Gattis, Steven Moffat, and producer Sue Vertue – and Lincoln Rhyme's creator Jeffery Deaver.

[A promising start, to be sure]

It’s another plot-heavy episode this week, as a cattle heist leads to conspiracies and murder. The highway patrol calls the Sheriff and his deputies (sadly, no Ferg this week) to a crime scene with a big rig trailer riddled with bullet holes. Walt quickly deduces (thanks to some cow patties) that a trailer of livestock was hijacked, and the driver of the rig, Cooper James, is missing. Branch is still pretty much getting all the manure-type work, as Walt orders him to dust the entire big rig for prints and then go visit some slaughterhouses. Meanwhile, Vic notifies the driver’s wife that he’s missing, and Walt heads to the ranch the rig came from that morning.

[But it's never that simple in Absaroka, is it?]

Death of a Dyer by Eleanor Kuhns is the second book in her Will Rees mysteries about a Revolutionary War veteran-turned-itinerant weaver (available June 18, 2013).

They didn't have Facebook back in the 18th century, so hearing unexpected news about an old friend rarely meant something good had happened. For Will Rees, learning that Nate Bowditch is dead is not only unexpected; it's unbelievable.

“Dead?” Rees repeated, staring at George Potter in shock.

“Dead?” A spasm of unexpected grief shot through him. Although he hadn’t seen Nate Bowditch for eighteen years, not since Rees had marched away with the Continental Army in 1777, as boys they’d been closer than brothers. “Are you sure?”

Potter put down his cup with a clink. “Of course I’m sure. His wife herself told me of his death.”

“I’ve never met her,” Rees said.

“After almost twenty years? He lives— lived on the other side of Dugard, not the Atlantic Ocean. What happened? You were such good friends.”

Rees shrugged; that story was too long to tell. “We . . . went in different directions.”

[And they never were seen again...]

You know what I found myself wondering yesterday? “Why can't I find a nice, creepy, John Wayne Gacy-esq clown themed horror clip?” Well, ask and you shall receive. Nothing says “I'm going to kill you dead” quite like a creepily mumbling man dressed as a very sloppy clown. Enjoy!

And be sure and stick around for the credits to listen to perhaps the creepist version of the Birthday Song that you will never be able to un-hear.

Prepare yourself. This is the beginning of the end for Inspector Lewis. Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox don’t want to do Lewis and Hathaway as a regular thing anymore. Or if they do, past this year’s final series 6, it won’t be for complete three- or four-episode series. Maybe just one or two now and then.

If I’m being objective I can’t really fault Kevin Whately—he’s been Lewis since 1987, and I’d expect that he wants to do something else from time to time. Although… I’ve seen him in other series playing characters who aren’t true blue and I simply refuse to accept it. (There are worse things than being branded as a sweet, soulful doer of good, Mr. Whately. Please remember that.) And Laurence Fox, who’s part of an acting dynasty (his cousin Freddie appeared in “Generation of Vipers” last year and his uncle Edward turns up in episode 3 of this series), has other fish to fry.

I’ll miss them, and I can’t help but remember the genuine contentment I felt back in 2007 when Lewis came back to TV. Fortunately, if this episode is any indication, they’re leaving us something truly Lewis-y to remember them by.

[We’ll always have Oxford...]

The Summer of Dead Toys by Antonio Hill is a dark, gritty police procedural set in Barcelona (available June 18, 2013).

Inspector Héctor Salgado, a transplanted Argentine living in Barcelona, is assigned to investigate a routine accidental death: a college student has fallen from a balcony in one of Barcelona’s ritzier neighborhoods. As Salgado begins to piece together the life and world of the victim, he realizes that the death may not have been an accident at all. Héctor begins to follow a trail that will lead him deep into the underbelly of Barcelona’s high society where he’ll come face-to-face with dangerous criminals, long-buried secrets, and, of course, his own past. But Héctor thrives on pressure, and he lives for this kind of case—dark, violent, and seemingly unsolvable. 

The Summer of Dead Toys by Antonio Hill is first in a new police procedural series featuring Inspector Héctor Salgado. Translated from Spanish by the original author, it’s set in contemporary Barcelona. However, the novel’s hero is a transplant from South America, an Argentine who’s not always welcome in Spain and who offers a bit of an outsider perspective, despite his long residence in Spain. As well as Salgado, we are treated to an array of intriguing secondary characters, including Salgado’s family and friends as well as other police, who will likely be further fleshed out as the series progresses.

Salgado’s moral quandaries result from dislocations between the legal requirements of his job and his own deep emotions and his opinions on appropriate payment for crimes. Salgado is a hardbitten, weary detective who still finds energy in the pursuit of justice.

[We love those disillusioned detectives...]

Crime of Privilege by Walter Walker is a legal thriller pitting a schlub against the rich and powerful (available June 18, 2013).

A murder on Cape Cod. A rape in Palm Beach. All they have in common is the presence of one of America’s most beloved and influential families. But nobody is asking questions. Not the police. Not the prosecutors. And certainly not George Becket, a young lawyer toiling away in the basement of the Cape & Islands district attorney’s office. George has always lived at the edge of power. He wasn’t born to privilege, but he understands how it works and has benefitted from it in ways he doesn’t like to admit. Now, an investigation brings him deep inside the world of the truly wealthy—and shows him what a perilous place it is.

I’m a sucker for journeys of redemption, for flawed characters whose weaknesses bring them to life, for holes dug deep enough that the character has to dig even deeper to pull himself out. Walker’s tale delivers all of this in spades. When George Becket witnesses a young woman being violated at a party in Palm Beach, he hesitates. He questions what he’s really seeing. He rationalizes and justifies. Finally, he steps in to stop it. Subsequently, for playing coy with investigators, George gets rewarded by the powerful Gregory family. He also gains an enemy in the victim’s wealthy father whose henchman (who gets some of the best lines) is soon dispatched to encourage George to find a moral compass. After the young woman commits suicide and George still refuses to change his story, daddy’s henchman predicts an unfortunate future:

[Henchman and oracle!]

A woman in Houston, Texas recently committed murder “with a deadly weapon, namely a shoe...” At least, that's what the police think after Ana Lilia Trujillo answered the victim's apartment door covered in blood and with her repeatedly stabbed boyfriend lying dead in the hallway next to her discarded shoe. According to CNN, who also has video from her preliminary hearing:

[Alf Stefan] Andersson, a research professor from the University of Houston, had 10 puncture wounds on his head — some as deep as an inch and a half — and 15 to 20 puncture wounds along his face, arms, and neck, prosecutors say, according to CNN affiliate KTRK.

The accused had apparently threatened others with this kind of behavior before, making “killer heels” not just a figure of speech, but her actual weapon of choice. (And she's not alone! Check this partial list of other assaults and murder by stiletto attack.)

The dangerous-looking Tom Ford heel pictured above is also indeed killer, but only in our preferred, stylistic sense. Photograph by Terry Richardson.

Her Last Breath by Linda Castillo (Kate Burkholder series, Book 5) is a thrilling procedural centering on a deadly crash and a beautiful Amish woman (available June 18, 2013).

Linda Castillo is back with the fifth installment of her exciting series featuring Kate Burkholder, the formerly Amish chief of police of the small town of Painters Mill, Ohio. Kate had an idyllic upbringing there till she turned 14 and was brutally raped by another member of the community. The events of that terrible day, and its aftermath, eventually caused her to leave the fold. Unable to completely turn her back on her past, though, she chose to use it to her advantage, gaining the position of chief of police in part due to her familiarity with the local Amish, who trust her marginally more than they would any other outsider.

In Her Last Breath, Kate is called to a tragic scene all too familiar to those who live near the Amish. A buggy driven by a deacon was hit by a speeding driver, killing the man and two of his children. The speeder never stopped, and it soon becomes apparent that this hit-and-run was no accident: the buggy and its passengers were the target of a calculated execution.

[In a small town, it always gets personal..]

Tami Hoag's The 9th Girl is a police procedural and thriller featuring Detectives Sam Kovac and Nikki Liska of the Minneapolis Police Department (available June 18, 2013).

The 9th Girl is a hybrid story. First, there's the story of the girl herself. She's a Jane Doe (thus the title), possibly—but possibly not—the ninth victim of a serial killer known around the police department as “Doc Holiday” because he kills on the holidays. In fact, the girl is so badly disfigured that she gains the media nickname “Zombie Doe.” The details of the murder are not for the faint of heart.

All eyes went to the horror-movie still of Zombie Doe’s face taped to the wall as the centerpiece of a macabre montage.

“God help us,” Tinks muttered.

“He’d better,” Kovac said. “He already missed his chance with her."

Because of the disfigurement, identifying the girl takes longer than one might imagine and it is in the search for her identity, as much as in the search for her killer, that Sam and Nikki really shine.

[Speaking for the dead]

Twilight is not Good for Maidens by Lou Allin is the third Holly Martin, Royal Canadian Mounted Police mystery (available June 18, 2013).

Corporal Holly Martin's small RCMP detachment on Vancouver Island is rocked by a midnight attack on a woman camping alone at picturesque French Beach. By the time a third young woman is raped in daylight and gives a precise description of the assailant, public outrage and harsh criticism of local law enforcement augment tensions in the frightened community.

Twilight Is Not Good for Maidens by Lou Allin is third in a series about Royal Canadian Mounted Police Corporal Holly Martin that began with And on the Surface Die. Allin is also known for her series featuring Northern Ontario realtor Belle Palmer, an amateur detective.

The plot of Twilight Is Not Good for Maidens combines a police procedural with gradually building danger from several angles that adds the feel of a thriller. It’s the first book I’ve read by this author, and as well as the new-to-me perspective of an RCMP investigation, I really enjoyed the claustrophobic feel of the forested setting, exacerbated because Martin’s detachment is located on Vancouver Island, which to some degree isolates them from the mainland.

[Isolation can breed fear]

Let’s face it. When you think of sociable people, the fictional private eye is not the person you think of first. PIs are supposed to be loners. The TV PI will tell you he is a loner, but then every week you meet another old close friend now in trouble. He spends quality time every week talking to his secretary, cop contact, legman, snitch, or anyone else available to help deliver story exposition. Suddenly, a PI agency with more than two employees makes sense.

21 Beacon Street (1959)
NBC

Perhaps the first TV series to feature a PI agency with three employees or more was 21 Beacon Street, which aired as a summer replacement series in 1959, then repeated on ABC a few months later. The half-hour mystery featured PI Dennis Chase (Dennis Morgan) and his staff of Lola (Joanne Barnes) his assistant, Brian (Brian Kelly) a law school graduate, and Jim (James Maloney) who specialized in gadgets and disguises.

Despite being the top rated summer replacement series of the year (according to Broadcasting), 21 Beacon Street suffered the fate of too many TV series, not only is it forgotten, but may be lost as well. We here at the Home, dedicated to saving the forgotten mysteries of the recent and distant past, will always keep a room reserved for such series with hopes we might get to watch it.

[Hey Gang, Let's Get Together and Solve Crime...]

Peruvian mummies refuse to play dead. In fact, despite their now empty craniums and lifeblood that has long drained from their bodies, their hushed demands or whispers of love can still be heard by those who carry within them the mummies’ inherited DNA. But it is only a handful of their descendants who still honor the mummies’ enigmatic cries. Ages ago, the advice of Incan leader Manco Capac rang in all ears of the empire like a clap of thunder; even coming from a mummified sovereign, his powerful words rang true. Now the majority of the mummies’ descendants prefer to listen only to scientific and anthropological explanations for how and why the mummies continue to be rediscovered in glacial crevasses, musty caves, and cloud-swept volcanoes. Contemporary society listens only to scientific and anthropologic data pertaining to newfound mummies. We are intrigued to hear that the Ice Maiden’s stomach still contains the frozen food she ate and that she died of a blunt trauma blow. We listen to reports that tell us X-rays confirm the Chachapoya mummies of the Peruvian cloud forest had their internal organs removed, and we wait to hear about the methods used to preserve their skin. Although the scientific language of logic and reason has practically duct-taped the mummies’ own communication in the twenty-first century, the mummies’ visceral messages continue to hum in the bone marrow of a few of their descendants like a huayruru rattle shaking on a foggy night in the cloud forest or a lone pan-pipe tune ascending the frigid Andean peaks.

[Can you hear them? Listen...]

Death Rides Again by Janice Hamrick is the third traditional mystery in the Jocelyn Shore series (available June 18, 2013).

Death Rides Again is the third book in the highly acclaimed series featuring school teacher Jocelyn Shore. But before I tell you all about it, I want to remind you that Janice Hamrick won the 2010 Mystery Writers of America/Minotaur Books First Crime Novel competition for Death on Tour in which the reader meets Jocelyn for the first time while she is on vacation in Egypt.

And it was just about this time last year I told you all about Jocelyn coming home and settling in to the opening of a new school year filled with chaos and murder. Death Makes the Cut is a terrific book and you can read about it right here.

I ended that post by saying I hoped we’d have another Jocelyn Shore novel soon, and finally (I was getting tired of waiting) Death Rides Again is here.

[But was it worth the wait?...]

Futile self-recrimination via the amazing Nathan Bulmer's art blog, Eat More Bikes.

In honor of Father's Day this weekend, we wanted to celebrate 10 of our favorite dads of TV crime. Half are crime-fighters, half are criminals, but each dad leaves an indelible mark (and dirty socks).

1) Jack Bauer of 24

Being a member of his family is like having a giant, flashing neon bullseye painted on you, but once you're being tormented by villains, to save you, he will do Whatever. It. Takes. (Until the next day...)

2) Arlo Givens of Justified

He's a vicious, abusive father who'd rather see his lawman son dead than his co-conspirators. But when Raylan goes all steely and ruthless with no hint of give, it's easy to see what the marshal's nature owes to Arlo's testicular fortitude.

[More TV Dads who deserve #1 Dad mugs...or mugshots]

Always Watching by Chevy Stevens is a psychological thriller featuring a cult and the psychiatrist who can't shake her experiences with them (available June 18, 2013).

In Chevy Stevens’ latest, Always Watching, Dr. Nadine Lavoie is doing her best to help her patients in Mental Health, including Heather Simeon, brought in after a suicide attempt. Nadine thinks she’s rebuilt her life after the death of her husband and her drug-addicted daughter’s running away. She’s replaced family with patients and she tells herself she’s helping them, but she still wonders why she could never help Lisa, her daughter.

The book opens with the introduction of Dr. Lavoie’s newest patient, Heather, who will unwittingly serves as a catalyst for the memories the psychiatrist thought she’d buried.

[Nothing stays buried forever]

James Bond is many things. He is a spy, a object of feminie desire, a stone cold killer... and a kitten lover. Who knew that Sean Connery, arguably one of the fan favorite Bonds, loved cuddling up with a furry little kitten in between takes of From Russia, With Love? Now let us all pause for the collective “Awwwwwww”.